i hate that i love you
by hannaxsweetheart
Summary: mikan comes to GA,everybody warns her to stay away from a gang called black fire, she agrees but what if the gang comes to her..she tries to stay away from them, but this only makes the Black Fire wanting her in the gang... what to do.. mxn & lovetriagles
1. Chapter 1

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Neww storyyy,, i had to write it before i forgot:P, btw they dont wair uniforms, i hate uniforms

There all 16 and tsubasa and some other people are 17

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_I was told to stay away from you but you found me..._

_There was no way I could ignore you..._

_You presence captivated me, your actions amazed me, your looks scared me..._

_You were to much of a mystery to stay away from..._

_**but**_

_I should have stayed away from you..._

_You broke me into million pieces..._

* * *

**I hate that I love you**

**Chapter 1: new school**

Mikan is a beautiful, nice, caring girl. She hates it when people judge her on her appearance, they tell her how lucky she is to look so good when she wears normal clothes and no make-up and still looks so stunning. all the sluts of her school try to be like her with no make-up and normal clothes. But that didn't turn out that well, so horrible! Because mikan's father is a businessman, he travels a lot. He just want mikan to be in one place so he transferred her to Gakuen Alice. Here she meets trouble...

mikan walks towards her new school, she is wearing low cut capris, with a white strapless tanktop with a grey vest over it and white allstars, And a cap were she put all her hair in.

She looked good but she didn't wanted to anyone to see her face so they couldn't judge her about her face. She saw guards she walked towards them she told them she was a new stundent and they let her in, then she saw a pink blur running towards her, it stopped right in front her.

"konnichiwa, mikan-chan, i can call you mikan-Chan right? oh maybe I can't, but I like it, maybe you don't like it, but I like it, but I don't want to hurt your feelings, cuz if you suicided i am dead, cuz i hurted your feelings and I will be really upset" so he kept blabbering, mikan sweetdropped.

"uhmm, pink person? can you tell me who you are" she asked polite as possible.

"oh i am sooo sooooooorrrryyyyyyyyyyyyy, i am narumi, your homeroom teacher" he said happily.

"come with me, i will tell where your class is, oh and i was specially requested to make sure you stay away from a gang called black fire." he said in a serious tone. Mikan looked confused.

"who is black fire?" said mikan as narumi gave her a don't say it to loud look.

"that doesn't matter. Your father requested that you stayed away from them" said narumi as mikan still looked confused.

"espescially a guy called natsume" he said and stopped walking.

"here we are" he said happily. _what the? Natsume? Black fire? Stay away? It's not like they will bite me... like i would hang out with someone who calls a gang black fire..._

there klass was the worst class in the whole school. everyone was playing around. no one had any interest in studying or paying any attention. they calmed down a bit when the teacher entered.

"kids, I have a new student for you" he chirped happily. "be nice to her!". mikan walked in and everyone everyone looked at her. "mikan-chan, it would be better if you would introduce yourself next period... the others will be arriving then" said narumi happily as mikan nodded. _he is one hell of a gay teacher... _mikan walked towards the back and sat and looked outside the window, then a girl with weird hair and slutty clothes and way too much make-up walked up to her.

"you ugly newbie, don't you dare to touch our princes!" she said with her hihg pitched voice. great, now my ears hurt like hell.

"princes? seriously? who calls themselves princes" said mikan irritated, by the girl and by everyone warning her for various things.

"you don't know?" perms said shocked as i cocked an eyebrow.

"duh-uh else i wouldn't be asking it now would I?" mikan said annoyed asshe yawned.

"you! You! Bitch!" she said as she grabbed the cap of mikan and trew it away, she smirked now she could show them how ugly she was, when she saw Mikan's face she was shocked her hair fell till her ellbows she had it in layers her face looked so beautiful, and she wasn't even wearing make up!

sumire kept staring at mikan like she was some kind of statue. mikan coughed to get everyone's attention.

"you know, you all can stop staring at me" mikan said slightly annoyed. _I am used to it but i hate it, feeling like an abnormal human._

sumire came back to eart and glared at mikan "you are not that pretty, don't act so arrogant" she said in a super snoby tone. _I wish you weren't lying._

"then tell them to stop staring at me" said mikan annoyed again, the girl looked behind her and saw everyone gaping at mikan. She glared at them, they still didn't stop.

"whatever, i am leaving" she mumbled. mikan grabbed my cap and put it on her head, she walked out. After mikan was out of the class she broke in a run. she kept running to who knows where till she bumped into someone.

_Those stupid fangirls, i wish i could burn them, stupid girls, some of them are hot but i already tried them so it's no fun..._

'BAM!' natsume almost fell on the ground but thanks to his amazing reflexes he avoided falling on the ground.

WHO THE FUCK BUMPED INTO ME? as natsume looked around to find the source of his anger, he found nothing.

_Weird..._ natsume was walking towards his gang, who was waiting at the sakura tree, ruka: his best friend. He has a gentleman attitude but he isn't that gently... he is just fooling all those girls, he has blond hair, a soft face, and a well build body.

yuu is the brainiac of the group he is nice but when he is angry you should stay away from him he is really cold if you insult him. He has a blond brown hair and glasses but girls swoon all over him so he must look good.

koko is the joker with his sand colored hair he always wears a ed hardy cap, he can be really serious.

mochu is the punk with his eyebrow piercing and his spikey brown hair.

and ofcourse tsubasa, he is a year older than us, he was blue colored hair, it's natural and has a star tattood on his cheek, he is a playboy and sometimes really annoying that bastard.

then you have akira and tono, both are 17 and akira has red hair, and tono black, there like tsubasa... and there some other gangmembers both there not here...

"yo, natsume you looked pissed" said ruka as he smiled..

_**Certified quality**_  
_**A dat da girl dem need and dem not stop cry without apology**_  
_**Buck dem da right way – dat my policy**_  
_**Sean Paul alongside – now hear what da man say – Beyonce**_  
_**Dutty ya, dutty ya, dutty ya**_  
_**Beyonce sing it now ya**_

"do you guys hear that too" said koko as he stood up

_**Baby boy you stay on my mind**_  
_**Fulfill my fantasies**_  
_**I think about you all the time**_  
_**I see you in my dreams**_

"i heared it" said natsume as he looked around to look where it came from...

_**Baby boy not a day goes by**_  
_**Without my fantasies**_  
_**I think about you all the time**_  
_**I see you in my dreams**_

"let's check it out" said tono as he stood up and they looked where it came from.

_**Aah oh my baby's fly baby oh**_  
_**Yes no hurt me so good baby oh**_  
_**I'm so wrapped up in your love let me go**_  
_**Let me breathe stay out my fantasies**_

"it's coming from the old gym building" said mochu as he looked at the guys who shrugged. _who was using the old building? _the walked up the old building.

_**Ya ready gimme da ting dat ya ready get ya live**_  
_**And tell me all about da tings that you will fantasize**_  
_**I know you dig da way me step da way me make my stride**_  
_**Follow your feelings baby girl b/c they cannot be denied**_  
_**Come check me in-a night and make we get it amplified**_  
_**Me have da ting to run da ship cause I'm go slip and I'm go slide**_  
_**And in the words of love I got ta get it certified**_  
_**But I give you da toughest longest kinda ride – girl**_

When they all looked in the gym (secretly) they saw a girl dancing on the beat and singing to the music. she had a silverly voice that echoed through the whole place.

_**Baby boy you stay on my mind**_  
_**Fulfill my fantasies**_  
_**I think about you all the time**_  
_**I see you in my dreams**_

She moved her body like it was nothing, she bounced on every beat. her every movements fasicinated them.

_**Baby boy not a day goes by**_  
_**Without my fantasies**_  
_**I think about you all the time**_  
_**I see you in my dreams**_

_**Picture us dancin real close**_  
_**In a dark dark corner of a basement party**_  
_**Every time I close my eyes**_  
_**It's like everyone left but you and me**_

She took her cap of and the were all amazed that she had so long hair and she looked so beautiful she used her body and hair to dance... she made use of every thing she had, her hands... her legs... her hair...

_**In our own little world**_  
_**The music is the sun**_  
_**The dance floor becomes the sea**_  
_**Feels like true paradise to me**_

She twisted her hips and moved her body as if she was a professional dancer. they all drooled accept natsume who smirked...

_**Baby boy you stay on my mind**_  
Fulfill_** my fantasies**_  
_**I think about you all the time**_  
_**I see you in my dreams**_

_**She did a back flip and the all gasped...**_

_**Baby boy not a day goes by**_  
_**Without my fantasies**_  
_**I think about you all the time**_  
_**I see you in my dreams**_

She laughed and used her hair to make it better than it was... her hair swayed with her every movement.

_**Baby boy you stay on my mind**_  
_**Baby boy you are so damn fine**_  
_**Baby boy won't you be mine**_  
_**Baby let's conceive an angel**_

_**Top top – girl**_  
_**Me and you together is a wrap – dat girl**_  
_**Driving around da town in your drop top – girl**_  
_**You no stop shock – girl**_  
_**Little more da dutty, we'll rock dat world**_

_**Top top – girl**_  
_**Me and you together is a wrap – dat girl**_  
_**Driving around da town in your drop top – girl**_  
_**You no stop shock – girl**_  
_**Little more da dutty, we'll rock dat world**_

_**Baby boy you stay on my mind**_  
_**Fulfill my fantasies**_  
_**I think about you all the time**_  
_**I see you in my dreams**_

_**We stepping in hotter this year,**_  
_**We stepping in hotter this year,**_  
_**I know you gon' like it,**_  
_**I know you gon' like it.**_  
_**I'm stepping in hotter this year,**_  
_**I'm stepping in hotter this year,**_  
_**So don't you fight it,**_  
_**So don't you fight it,**_

The girl was wearing sports short and an blue tanktop.

She finished an grabbed her phone and looked for a other song, than was stopped when koko fell in the gym, she looked total shocked.

They guys walked all in the gym, but mikan wasn't scared she had been in this kind of scenes before, natume walked to her and grabbed her chin. She glared at him like there was no tomorrow. Then she spoke

"what the fuck do you want?" she hissed, natsume was taken back, he smirked this was going to be fun...

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sorry its short but i m kindaa sleepy:P

_I was told to stay away from you but you found me..._

_There was no way I could ignore you..._

_You presence captivated me, your actions amazed me, your looks scared me..._

_You were to much of a mystery to stay away from..._

__

_**but**_

_I should have stayed away from you..._


	2. Chapter 2

_I was told to stay away from you but you found me..._

_There was no way I could ignore you..._

_You presence captivated me, your actions amazed me, your looks scared me..._

_You were to much of a mystery to stay away from..._

_**but**_

_I should have stayed away from you..._

_You broke me into million pieces__..._

_

* * *

_

**I hate that I love you**

**Chapter 2: leave me alone!**

"your new?" said natsume as he looked at her. The girl tied her hair in a ponytail and gave him a dirty look.

"yeah, what if I am" said mikan confidently as she glared at him.

"oh, so you're the newbie everyone is talking about" said ruka as he walked up to her.

"damn it! Already? I just have been here 10 minutes? They don't waste time" said mikan angrily.

"aren't you scared" said tono as he walked next to natsume, he licked his lips, mikan still looked bored.

"this happens way too much, i am getting used to it" said mikan as she pulled her capri's quickly and wore it over her shorts, she grabbed her vest and wore it over her tank top. The guys still were looking at her. Mikan sighed.

She even tried glaring harder than before. Normal persons would be running for there live, but hey... these boys aren't normal. "okay, like i said before...what the hell do you want" said mikan slowly losing her patience...

Natsume smirked at her. "you know, this is the first time a girl acts bitchy to me" said natsume as the guys smirked. Ruka walked towards her.

"let me explain you the rules in this school" said ruka as tsubasa nodded in agreement.

"first rule, you respect the princes" said ruka as mikan raised a eyebrow.

"excuse me? Princes?" said mikan as tsubasa grinned.

"us, sweetheart. Second rule: you do as we say and you won't get hurt" said tsubasa as mikan smirked.

"me? Getting hurt? By who...you guys?" said mikan as she tried not to laugh. Koko glared at her.

"you won't be laughing when your life here is ruined" said koko smiling as mikan glared at him this time.

"listen up third rang idiots. Here are my rules: you stay away from me, i will absolutely not date or sleep with any one of you, i will make sure that your life won't be ruined" said mikan as sweet as possible. The guys looked each other.

"oi missy. Don't think all high and mighty because you have a hot body. Non of us would date you, definitely sleep with you but we would throw you away" said natsume with a cold voice as he smirked. Mikan just glared at him and walked away.

"whatever, i already have a boyfriend so don't bother" said mikan as she waved them goodbye. Natsume felt his blood boil. He walked up to her and forcefully grabbed her arm to turn her around.

"don't make me angry bitch. You would regret it" said natsume, mikan looked up to him.

"why? What would you do? Rape me? Kill me?" yelled mikan at him. She pulled her arm away. She gave them a dirty look and walked away. She left them dumbfounded behind.

"is it me or is she just plain weird?" said koko as he scratched his head. Tono sighed.

"it is definitely not you. She is weird" said tono as tsubasa agreed. Ruka looked at natsume.

" she is not weird... or is she natsume?" said ruka as he looked for natsumes reaction.

"she is going to be mine. If she likes it or not" announced natsume as the others smirked.

"that girl is so much in trouble already" said akira as tsubasa agreed.

"so what are you going to do?" asked mochu curiously as he looked at natsume, who ran his hand through his hair.

" i am going to make her life so miserable that she will come running to me" said natsume as he walked out the gym with the others following each step.

Mikan on the other hand ran back to school. _HOW DARE HE? INSULTING ME? Wait till my baby finds out about them, you're so dead... _mikan smirked as she walked she pulled her cap on but the flap thingy backwards **(you know the front of the cap, but then you pull it backwards?XD do you get it:O)**

She hummed a beat and really wanted to dance. Dancing was in her blood, she could dance anything... from classic to modern, from the tango to the salsa. She could really dance anything... mikan twirled around as she suddenly faced a girl. The girl was pale looking and had short purple hair. She had no expression as she was definitely staring at her, mikan cleared her throat.

"hey there! I am mikan" she said brightly, the girl just nodded and walked away. Mikan was left dumbfounded and shrugged. She danced all the way to her class. Seriously there was not one second she could stand still. Her parents thought she had some kind of disease. Mikan giggled at the thought of her silly parents. But she did have a fever, and it was most certainly a Dancing Fever! Mikan lost in her own thoughts waited for the teacher to call her in again for a second introduction. When she heard her name she entered the room.

"hey! I am mikan sakura, nice to meet you again!" said mikan brightly as you could hear whistles. Mikan looked at the source of all the commotion and cursed. There in the back were few guys she met in the morning. She gave them a sugary sweet smile. One of them acted like a cupid arrow struck him in the heart. Mikan rolled her eyes.

"sensei where do i sit and do i have a partner?" said mikan sweetly as narumi blushed.

"CUTEEE" yelled narumi as mikan took a few step backwards. She bumped into someone. As she was about to turn around when someone lifted her from the ground.

"she is going to be mine partner" said a husky voice, that sounded awfully familiar to mikan. As she was being carried to the back. The guy put her down in her seat and sat next to her. Mikan cursed loudly.

"Damn! From all the persons in this school it just had to be you" said mikan angrily. Natsume looked quite amused. This girl was different, she was really beautiful but sometimes she acted like a tomboy. Just for example, her cap... only guys wear it like that!

As mikan looked around she noticed she was surrounded by the guys she met earlier. Well not all of them...

"welcome to alice academy, mikan sakura" said ruka as he smiled. Mikan looked confused as she looked at the teacher or the other students she noticed most of them were looking rather pale.

"who the fuck are you guys" said mikan as she looked at them. Koko grinned as natsume spoke.

"We are Black Fire and i am natsume hyuuga" said natsume with a monotone voice. Mikan looked confused and then she gulped.

_Black fire? Wasn't i told to stay away from black fire AND natsume hyuuga? Oh shit..._

"Shit" cursed mikan as she looked at them. She just messed with the wrong group and is already in deep deep trouble...

_What a start of the day... everything i was supposed to stay away from is coming to me, what kind of fate is this? I am seriously cursed..._

_

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okay, i corrected the minor mistakes...

so how did you like it? TELL MEEEE(l)!

LOVEEE(l)!

xxHannaaa


	3. Chapter 3

_I was told to stay away from you but you found me..._

_There was no way I could ignore you..._

_You presence captivated me, your actions amazed me, your looks scared me..._

_You were to much of a mystery to stay away from..._

_**but**_

_I should have stayed away from you..._

_You broke me into million pieces..._

_

* * *

_

**I hate that I love you**

**Chapter 3: enter shouhei high school**

Shouhei high school is Alice Academy's biggest rival. And it is not about the education or the classes, no in fact it is about the students.

Shouhei High School has a gang called Red Ice. Their gang is always fighting with Alice Academy's Black Fire.

No one can beat them. There only a threat against each other and believe me when i say that it will only get worse...

"Hajime, how many did get injured this time?" said Rui Amane in a dangerous yet calm voice. Hajime Gulped. How was he gonna explain that 10 got injured by 4 men?

Rui Amane is the leader of Red Ice. He is just 17 but he is dangerous as hell. His red hair and tanned skin make him look gorgeous but his cold and bad-ass attitude makes people stay away from him. In his school everyone respects him and girls were all over him (from a distance).

His right-hand men is Hajime Yakumo. He is the same age only his appearance is slightly different. He has bandage over his face. Only one eye is uncovered, his eyes have a golden shade. Still even with bandage he can't keep the girls away. He is known as someone not to mess with, the last person who did that was never found back...

His left-hand men is no one other than Younchi Hyuuga. Yes you guessed it right, Black fire's Leaders little brother. Although natsume and younchi are in different gangs they live under one roof. Younchi respects both natsume and Rui but still he will fight for Rui against Natsume. Younchi has a girlfriend named Aoi Amane. Yes she is Rui's little sister, rui doesn't mind because he knows how much Younchi loves her.

Other members are the well known Kitsuneme, he is a real troublemaker. His messy hair and goofy attitude makes him totally cute! they say he has a background with alice academy's koko.

Hoshio Hoshino always wears a mask. The rumours goes that his face is too beautiful to be shown while others say it is too ugly to be shown...

hayate Mtsudaira is the only one with feminine features. He is often mistaken for a girl with his shiny hair and green eyes. There are many more members but introducing them all will take too long. You will meet them as the story continues...

"i repeat hajime...how many did get beat up" said rui losing his patience. Younchi sighed and took over.

"10 men from our side got neat up by 4 of them" said younchi rather disappointed. Rui said nothing for a while but then he suddenly spoke just one sentence...

"let's bring black fire a visit" said rui as younchi and hajime nodded. They called their best members and headed to Alice Academy for black fire...

Mikan on the other hand was still struggling to get away from natsume and his gang, but it was rather difficult so she just gave up.

As she looked at natsume she noticed that he wasn't bad looking at all. He was rather handsome than ugly. His messy raven coloured hair and crimson eyes made her keep looking at him, his tanned skin matched perfectly with his appearance. His body just to muscular to mention as mikan looked away from him she looked to her other side.

"you know, you guys didn't introduce yourself" said mikan coolly as she looked at them, the blonde guy next to her just smiled.

"sorry for the rudeness. My name is ruka nogi" said the blonde guy. She noticed that he was kind of cute. He had not too messy blonde hair and big blue eyes. He is definitely attractive. She just gave him a nod as she looked at the three guys in front of her.

"yo! My name is koko, sweetheart" said the boy with sandy coloured hair. He wore a ed-hardy cap, but the cap didn't hide his playful eyes. Next to him sat a rather cold guy.

"mochu" said the guy with a eye brow piercing. He had brown spiky hair. And very cold eyes. The last guy was rather intimidating.

"i am yuu" stated the last guy, he had blonde/brown hair and glasses. He was also rather attractive... well they all were! But he had this weird aura around him...

Mikan kept staring at them, making them think that she was just plain weird.

"enjoying the view, princess?" said koko as he grinned, mikan looked at him a showed her angry pout, it just made her look too cute. Koko blinked.

"am i supposed to be scared now" joked koko as mikan raised her eyebrow and stayed silent.

"i knew you would enjoy the company of us" said ruka nicely. Mikan placed a sugary smile on her face.

"yes, i am soo enjoying myself with idiots like you guys..." said mikan as she realised something.

"oi! Girl with the perms!" the girl turned around with a angry scowl on her face.

"It is Sumire shouda, president of the Black fire fanclub!" yelled sumire at mikan, mikan just rolled her eyes.

"yeah yeah, whatever. You like black fire right? Wanna switch seats?" said mikan as she stood up not waiting for her answer as she was about to jump over her table to get to sumire, natsume pulled her back.

"forgot our rules? You do as we say" said yuu as he pushed his glasses back. Mikan gave them a sweet poisoning smile.

"you forgot my rules? Stay away from me" said mikan as she crossed her arms and glared daggers at all of them.

Sumire was now emitting furious aura. The guys smirked.

"how dare you! Black fire won't like a girl like you!" yelled sumire as most of the girls agreed. Mikan looked confused.

"say perms, how many members does your fan club have?" asked mikan as sumire proudly stated the numbers.

"over 3900" said sumire proudly as mikan's jaw dropped.

"but this school only has 4000 students?" said mikan surprised as natsume chuckled.

"are you considering joining too?" asked a amused natsume, this girl was really something but he was going to make her life hell. No one and i repeat no one rejects natsume hyuuga.

"no way in hell" said mikan as she looked angrily. Sumire stood up and walked over to mikan.

"you will never be accepted by everyone in this school" stated sumire as she placed her hands on her hips. Mikan looked at the smirking faces of the boys. _Shit! They planned this..._

The bell rang and next period started, everyone walked casually out of the room but not before glaring daggers at mikan. Mikan looked at the evil smirking faces of the gang. She gave them a sweet smile.

"so that is your big plan, natsume? Putting everyone against me? I am utterly shocked" said mikan with a voice so sweet as sugar. They gang looked surprised.

"doesn't that make you anxious... not having any friends? You do know that you have to stay here day and night?" said mochu amused. How could she survive here all day long (since they had dorms here).

"as i recall... i wasn't here to make any friends. It is not my choice to please people. Like me or hate me, i simply don't care" stated mikan in a rather bored voice. It was her dad's choice to send her here. they had to stay in the academy day and night, after school they were allowed to go outside but to return before 9 pm. in weekends they could go home.

"don't you feel a bit intimidated to be surrounded by guys?" said yuu curiously, yes this girl was indeed very different her looks were perfect yet her attitude he simply detested. The nerve to talk back to them!

"no, not at all. Would it surprise you if i told you that i am way to familiar with these kind of scenes?" said mikan, but not all was true. Yes, she had been familiar with these scenes yet it still scared her in some way.

"don't we have classes?" said mikan as she looked at them, yuu and koko chuckled.

"we are skipping, but you are most welcome to go" said ruka. As mikan looked suspiciously at them. Natsume stood up letting her go, she quickly went to her next class.

"she is so screwed" said natsume as he smirked. After mikan left tono and akira came running in.

"natsume, rui is here with his gang" announced akira as natsume's playful smirk turned dark...

Mikan walked to her class and she did notice all the whispers and glares directed to her. _They are fast... _on her first day she definitely didn't make friends. She couldn't take all the whispers and stares and just ran.

Mikan ended on the roof. She threw her cap away and twirled around and let the wind play with her hair. She slowly walked over to the railing and leaned on it. She only thought of one person.

_Mom i miss you..._

Mikan's mom was in heaven watching over her. She died a couple years ago in a accident.

Mikan smiled at the memories of her mom, she loves her indeed and will always miss her. Her father always tried to make sure that she never would feel alone. _Silly old man..._

As she looked down, she saw a lot of commotion going on at the entrance of Alice Academy. Mikan being the curious person she was, she ran downstairs to watch closely.

"rui, what brings you here?" said ruka nicely as he held a baseball bat in his hand. Mochu while holding a basball bat was smirking, yuu and koko had both a hockey stick in their hand and natsume well he just stood there with hand in his pockets.

Rui, hajime and younchi were on the motorcycles while kitsuneme, hoshio and hayate were standing next to them with hockey sticks and baseball bats.

"i thought i bring a visit, since you asked for it" said rui as he leaned forward. Natsume smirked.

"i don't recall inviting you here" stated natsume with a bored voice, rui narrowed his eyes.

"what the fuck were your men doing in my area" said rui dangerously as he stood up. He walked up to natsume. Both of the stared at each other in silence. Till a certain someone broke the silence.

"rui?" came the voice of a beautiful brunette with a sharp tongue. Natsume looked surprised at her, she actually knew this guy?

Rui looked shocked and then regained his posture. "mikan sakura, do you mind explaining me what my girlfriend is doing in my rival's school?" stated a very angry looking rui. Mikan gulped. _Did i already told you i was cursed... because i seriously am..._

Boy oh boy...

* * *

rewrote itXD minor mistakes like the previous chapters.

soo how did you guys like it?

i hope you still understand itXD if you have any question dont hestitate to ask:O!

Loveeeloveee(L)!


	4. Chapter 4

_I was told to stay away from you but you found me..._

_There was no way I could ignore you..._

_You presence captivated me, your actions amazed me, your looks scared me..._

_You were to much of a mystery to stay away from..._

_**but**_

_I should have stayed away from you..._

_You broke me into million pieces..._

_

* * *

_

**I hate that I love you**

**Chapter 4: my so called perfect life.**

"rui?" came the voice of a beautiful brunette with a sharp tongue. Natsume looked surprised at her, she actually knew this guy?

Rui looked shocked and then regained his posture. "mikan sakura, do you mind explaining me what my girlfriend is doing in my rival's school?" stated a very angry looking rui. Mikan gulped. _Did i already told you i was cursed... because i seriously am..._

Boy oh boy...

Mikan gulped and took step backwards. "he he...I can see you are very busy…and my classes are starting soon. Skipping is very bad, so bye bye!" said mikan in a hurry, she turned around and was about to run for her dear life but unfortunately for her rui grabbed her shoulder and made her turn around. Mikan quickly put on the i-am-innocent act.

She grabbed rui's waist like a koala, crying waterfall tears. Rui sighed. Mikan looked up to him. "rui, I am really really sorry, but daddy told me to come here and I didn't have time to tell you and I really really didn't know this was the school you hated" said mikan innocently. Rui looked at her, her could never be mad at her. She was too precious to lose.

"it's okay princess. It is the fault of that damn old man" said rui furiously. Mikan sweatdropped. Younchi coughed grabbing their attention. Mikan happily skipped over towards younchi and the others, she greeted them cutely, it made them smile. She was their leaders girl after all.

Natsume looked at the scenery in front of him. Koko coughed. "can you believe it? we have rui's girlfriend in our school" said koko shocked. Natsume smirked. _This makes everything interesting._

Mikan walked over to rui and hugged him, he gave a light kiss on her forehead. Natsume cleared his throat. "oi, are you gonna fight or what? You came all the way to kick our asses didn't you?" said natsume as he smirked. Rui glared at him as mikan pulled away. She crossed her arms.

"I see you are busy, we will meet up tomorrow. Tonight I have things to unpack" said mikan quietly as she bid them goodbye and walked away. Rui sighed.

"mikan wait!" yelled rui as mikan walked away. She turned around and faced him with a small smile.

"don't worry I am not mad. I just…I will see you tomorrow, don't be late!" said mikan as she waved and walked away. No she wasn't mad but she just didn't wanted to see the sight of rui that everyone was afraid of. She only wanted to know the nice and good hearted rui, she would never ever wanted to see his bad side. No, never again… she was known as fearless, sharp girl but rui somehow made her turn into a soft, vulnerable girl.

She really loved him, that's what everyone tells her. He has never left her side and she wouldn't want him to. But she didn't know if this was love or something else. In a film they said that when you are in love you feel butterflies and you can't take your mind and thoughts off that person. She hadn't felt any of this… but she loved him, right?

Rui looked at natsume. "I am warning you hyuuga. Stay away from her" said rui dangerously as he walked towards natsume. Natsume smirked.

"I don't remember me listening to you…ever" said natsume as he raised his eyebrow.

"and besides your girlfriend isn't the sexiest woman alive, if she was that hot I would definitely take her" said natsume cockily. Rui smirked.

"don't worry, you will take your interest in her but she will never be yours. Mark my words hyuuga" said rui as he walked away leaving his gang behind to fight natsume's.

"that was rather shocking" said ruka as he thought about what had happened the past 10 minutes.

"that girl is already hated and now we know that she is Rui's girlfriend… damn this day gets better and better" said mochu as he smirked.

"oi, what are you waiting for…" said hayate as he smirked. Both of the gangs walked towards each other. May the best gang win…

Mikan walked in the hallways, whistling a song. She heard footsteps behind her. She stooped and quickly turned around. No one was there, she shrugged and happily walked further.

Then the footsteps returned, this time mikan was sure someone was following her she turned around and saw nothing again. She tip toed towards the lockers and saw someone bending down. She looked at the person she caught.

It was the same girl from the hallways. She was really beautiful with her black short hair. And white skin. Her red lips stood out together with her big black eyes. The girl glared at her.

"whatcha doing?" said mikan cutely. The girl stood up and faced her.

"making photos" murmured the girl softly. Mikan smiled.

"of me? Wow that's so cool" said mikan happily. The girl looked weirdly at her. Mikan thought of an idea.

"wait let me help" mikan posed with a a peace sign and a wink. The girl just looked at her.

"what are you waiting for? Make photos silly" said mikan as you could see hotaru smirking, she started clicking, after awhile hotaru was done.

"why do you make photos?" said mikan as she looked at hotaru.

"money" said hotaru shortly as mikan sweatdropped, She giggled.

"well, it would be nice to be friends" said mikan as she stuck out her hand. Hotaru looked at her hand and then at her.

"can I make photos of you anytime I want?" asked hotaru curiously as mikan nodded happily.

"then let's be friends" said hotaru as she shook mikan's hand.

Both of them walked towards the class. Hotaru sighed as mikan was about to open the door.

"what's wrong?" asked mikan as hotaru glared at the door.

"it the class of that baka teacher, jinno-sensei" said hotaru as she opened the door mikan looked confused as she walked in. the moment she walked in... there flew a marker towards her head, she quickly dodged it. there was a rather old looking teacher with a frog on his shoulder glaring at them.

"sorry sir we are late because mikan was lost and I helped her. She is new" lied hotaru as she looked at the teacher, the glare didn't disappear but he did nod.

"take your seat and don't let this happen again". As mikan walked to her seat she saw most of her classmates glaring at her. _Great… I am feeling so loved…_

She sat on her seat and grabbed her notebook. She wrote the answers of the questions on the blackboard in her notebook. After awhile the door slid open and the gang walked in, mikan looked up and saw that the teacher said nothing. She cursed softly. _That damn stupid baka teacher… what's so special about those guys? both students and teachers are scared?_

Mikan noticed that some of them had minor cuts and bleedings, she worried for Rui. Natsume sat next to her and looked towards her.

"aren't you worried for your precious boyfriend?" said natsume amused mikan didn't look up.

"no, I will see him tomorrow. He will be okay" said mikan quietly. _he always has been…_

Mikan smirked she started to understand everything. "do you feel threatened" said mikan as she smirked. Natsume glared at her.

"by you? You got to be kidding me" said natsume as he smirked. His gang joined him.

"no… by rui" said mikan finally facing him with a cold face natsume looked surprised.

"why would we feel threatened by your boyfriend?" said ruka as he looked at her.

"he is dangerous, you guys know absolutely nothing about him. I suggest you watch out. I didn't tell him anything about you annoying me but I won't hesitate if you go too far" said mikan with a low but stern voice. Natsume became furious, he grabbed her chin roughly.

"what the hell… just because you have the looks you think your queen of this school, listen carefully bitch… I won't hesitate to hurt you, it doesn't matter if you're a girl or not" said natsume as he pushed her away. He stood up and walked out of the room followed by the others mikan glared at him.

The teacher glared at her. "mikan sakura, DETENTION!" yelled jinno sensei. Mikan sighed. _Damn that stupid teacher…_

"I m going to kill that fucking stupid girl!" yelled natsume as he kicked the wall, yuu smirked.

"hey guys, I have the perfect idea: we can hurt both mikan and rui" said yuu as the others looked curiously at him. He told them the plan, on natsume's lips formed a smirk.

"that is a fucking good idea" said natsume as he had a dangerous glint in his eyes.

Mikan ran out of the class together with hotaru as jinno sensei yelled after her. "COME BACK! YOU HAVE DETENTION!" mikan stuck out her tongue and grabbed hotaru's hand. They ran towards the roof.

Mikan scanned the roof for her cap. She found it and put it on she posed for hotaru so she could snap photos. They sat on the ground enjoying their lunch.

"how did you end up with the well known Rui" said hotaru as she ate her crab salad. Mikan smiled.

"I honestly don't know, he has always been there" said mikan, she really didn't know. To were her memories go, he has always been there…

"so hotaru what do you like to do?" said mikan as she observed hotaru. She was a quiet girl but don't mess with her, she has a sharp tongue.

"making money I guess" said hotaru as mikan noted to ask hotaru someday why she loved money so much…

"mikan, I am warning you…stay away from Black fire…" said hotaru mikan looked confused.

"seriously, why does everyone keep saying that?" said mikan frustrated hotaru stayed silent for a while.

"because they are dangerous, they were involved in dangerous cases…the underworld mikan" said hotaru as mikan gulped. She would love to stay away from them but somehow she caught their attention…

Lunch ended and mikan and hotaru headed to class. The gang wasn't there so mikan sat next to hotaru. As the period ended mikan and hotaru were the last one to leave. A girl blocked their way out. She opened her coke and dumped it on mikan. Her clothes and hair were soaked wet. Mikan glared at her. the girl smirked at her.

Hotaru grabbed a broom and kicked the girl away, she grabbed mikan and both of them ran to the restroom.

Mikan pulled her dirty cap of and her once beautiful grey vest. Her white tank top was covered in coke. She washed her tank top and then dried it. Hotaru didn't hesitate and gave mikan her short sleeves black and white checkered jacket to put over her tank top. Mikan smiled gratefully at her.

Mikan quickly washed her hair and pulled it in a messy bun. She put her vest and cap in her bag and walked statisfied out together with hotaru.

"Neh, hotaru… I would understand if you wouldn't want to be my friend…everyone hates me here" said mikan softly. Hotau stopped and faced her.

"just because I don't talk a lot doesn't mean I hate you. We are the same, that's why I chose to be friends with you and besides you seem strong, no one will be able to break you if you stay this way" said hotaru mikan hugged her hotaru pulled away. She smiled slightly.

mikan and hotaru walked towards their last class and no one was there... mikan and hotaru shrugged and were about to walk out when the door closed. mikan and hotaru quickly turned around. they saw a group of 4 guys standing in front of the door.

"so, what are you girls doing here? classes ended already" said one of them. he had messy blond hair and blue eyes, he was kind of cute.

"we were just leaving" said hotaru as she pulled mikan with her to the door, one of them grabbed hotaru's wrist, he had blue spiky hair. hotaru tried to pull away but the second guy grabbed her other wrist. mikan slapped the guy who pulled hotaru's wrist. the blue-haired guy pushed mikan away towards the blondie.

"let go of her" said mikan harshly. the guy just smirked, he slammed mikan against the wall... the other two guys grabbed her wrists.

"let go of her, you animals!" yelled mikan in their face. the guys just smirked.

"you know, besides your pretty face and hot body...you have nothing else useful, your mouth is to loud" said the guy as the others agreed.

"so what? just leave hotaru alone" said mikan outraged. this school was really full of animals. mikan stepped on the guys foot. he yelped in pain, in anger he tore the jacket mikan was wearing but in rage he unconsiously grabbed mikan's tubetop and tore it together with her jacket. he looked guilt for a second mikan noticed.

mikan in shock quickly tried to cover her bra with her both arms, she felt tears swelling up. hotaru yelled at the guys to come free but nothing helped. suddenly the door slipped open and black fire entered.

"so changed your mind? if your smart you would listen to us to avoid another attempt rape" said natsume as he walked up to her. the other guys walked in and sat somewhere. natsume smirked as he looked at her. ruka on the other hand kept looking at hotaru. she gave him a cold, disgusted look and turned away.

"so useless... woman are useless... and you better do as we say or else..." said natsume as mikan began to remble in anger, she looked at natsume and tears fell from his eyes. natsume was shocked for a second.

"or what? you will rape me? you guys want my respect but will never get it. you earn respect... you can't demand it dammit! you think people respect you? they are fucking afraid of you!" said mikan outraged by these guys.

"look at them, do they look afraid of you? YES, THEY DON'T EVEN LOOK YOU IN THE FUCKING FACE" yelled mikan as she forced him to looked at the guys who attacked her earlier. they looked at the ground feared to look up.

"so what? they should be afraid right? and besides you should be more afraid... your the one who's standing in a bra" said natsume amused as mikan looked around, he was right... she was surrounded by men. hotaru, quickly stepped on the guy's foot to come free and walked towards mikan. ruka was about to stop her but she glared at him.

"just don't... she is right i have never met things like you guys. i don't even dare to call you humans... shameless" said hotaru quietly. ruka looked schocked at her. hotaru placed her arm around mikan and they walked out.

natsume was left speechless. she dared to talk back at him with all his friends here. she insulted him...

"natsume you okay?" said ruka curiously. natsume was shaking in anger and he knew that mikan was right. everyone was afraid of them they didn't gain respect...no they demanded it...

mikan was silent as hotaru brought her to her room. "mikan, they didn't used to be bad... they were actually good people but everything changed after a accident... they blamed them for something they didn't do... everyone here helped them become like this, but what happend today was unforgiveable. i didn't expect ruka to be a part of this... shameless" said hotaru in a dissapointed voice. mikan noticed something.

"say hotaru. do you know them that well?" said mikan curiously. hotaru looked at the ground.

"yes... i used to be ruka's girlfriend" said hotaru as mikan looked shocked.

"ong! ruka's girlfriend!" said mikan as she giggled hotaru smiled a little but it vanished.

"i used to be... not anymore" said hotaru as mikan looked at her... she hugged her...

hotaru stayed with mikan for a while. adter gotaru left mikan cleaned up her room and went to the bathroom to shower. she looked in the mirrior. it was that stupid face's fault. "you made them notice me" said mikan to the mirror. after a while she shook her hair. "i am beginning to sound crazy" said mikan as she walked in the shower.

"after dressing up she grabbed her phone for any messages. she opened a message from rui.

**tomorrow 6 pm i am picking you up, dress nicely we are going out.**

**love**

**rui**

mikan smiled and texted back. as she placed her phone on the table she walked to her window. she inhaled the scent of the nature.

_natsume used to be good? i can't imagine it... but everyone has a dark past, even me... but i still wish to meet this nice natsume somehow it makes me eager... _

natsume on the other hand couldn't sleep. _that girl... tch_

Somewhere outside the academy…

"you stupid old men! How can you let her go to that fucking school" said a gorgeous guy. The 'old men' turned around in his chair and faced him with a frown on his face.

"you're going to be my future son-in-law. Show some respect will you" said the 'old men' in a stern voice. The gorgeous guy sighed.

"I sent her there so we can bring his son down… we will have the victory. Trust me… his son will pay for his father's sin" said the 'old men'. The gorgeous guy smirked.

"they always want what they can't have, that will bring them down at any cost".

* * *

BTW I REWROTE IT A LITTLE BIT, a lot of questions were left unawseredXD.

I am sure I shocked you guys with mikan being rui's girlsfirend, but I gotta make this story interesting…

But I promise it will be mikanx natsume and but anyways love you and try not to kill or hate meXD

r&r!

OHHH MYY GOODDD I FORGOT TO SAY THANKYOU FOR ALL YOUR REALLYY NICE REVIEWS(l)! I am such a bitchXD sorryyyy(L)!


	5. Chapter 5

_**ATTENTIONNNN!**_

_**Listen up! I rewrote the previous chapter, better read it:O!**_

* * *

_I was told to stay away from you but you found me..._

_There was no way I could ignore you..._

_You presence captivated me, your actions amazed me, your looks scared me..._

_You were to much of a mystery to stay away from..._

_**but**_

_I should have stayed away from you..._

_You broke me into million pieces..._

* * *

**I hate that I love you**

**Chapter 5: cold hearted**

Mikan woke up even before classes were about to start. She was planning to skip today. Fuck school and this school's stupid gang. They humilinated her... they made fun of her... they thought highly of themselfs, but after hotaru told their little story it made her curious, what happend that made them the culprits? What was the big incident?

Mikan slowly stood up and went showering. Afterwards she brushed her teeths and hair.

Mikan walked to her closet and looked for something to wear for when she meets rui.

Hotaru woke up a little later than mikan and went showering & brushing her teeths. Hotaru walked to her dresser and grabbed a brush for her hair. As she slowly brushed her hair...her eyes fell on a picture of a happy couple. A necklace was hanging on the picture.

Hotaru sighed. They used to be happy. He was everything for her and he even bought a necklace to prove his 'love'.

_**Flashback**_

_Hotaru was waiting for her boyfriend ruka and mind if i tell you he was like 3 hours late?__! Hotaru had enough. She stood up with and with a glare she walked away. In the distance she could hear a motorcylce._

"_Probably ruka... to bad he is late" scoffed hotaru as she walked away ignoring his calls. The motorcycle stopped in front of her and ruka looked at her._

"_i called you like thousand times" said ruka as he raised his eyebrow at his girlfriend. Hotaru smiled sweetly._

"_sweetheart...YOUR FUCKING LATE" yelled hotaru as she slapped him with her purse and walked away. Ruka got of his motor and ran after her._

"_i was late because i had to get my babe something" whispered ruka in hotaru's ear. Hotaru turned around with a cute face. "really" she said cutely. Ruka nodded._

_Hotaru squealed as ruka gave her the necklace. She watched in awe how beautiful it was. It was a silver heat with a pink diamond in it. On the back was something written what made hotaru love him more. It said: R+H forever._

_**Flashback end**_

"To bad you didn't mean it... you knew we wouldn't last forever" mumbled hotaru to herself as she watched the necklace. She traced the heart with her fingertip. She sighed and turned the picture up side down, so she wouldn't see it. The same time her phone rang, she had and text message.

**Taru-chan! I am not coming to classes today, but i am going out tonight!**

**I wanted to ask, want to come with me? Rui's friends are really nice.**

**Love,**

**mikan**

She thought for a while and smiled. She texted back a yes and changed her clothes and walked out.

The guys were already in class... yeah no one was expecting them to be on time. All of them sat in silence and observed their leader. He was calm, silent and not glaring. Ruka glanced at koko who shrugged.

At the same time hotaru walked in. She looked awsomely stylish. Her shoes were Gucci limited edition beaded heels. The girls looked in awe. Well she was hotaru imai and she could get anything she wanted. Her eyes were hidden behind pilot glasses. Her red dress was short and had long sleeves. Ruka gaped at her, well almost everyone gaped at her.

Hotaru sighed as she saw the only available seat was right next to black fire. She walked casually as she heard a girl whisper.

"those shoes are so fake" one said to the other as the other agreed. Hotaru stopped at their table.

"jealous?" asked hotaru sweetly as the girl glared at her. She went to her seat and sat. Ruka kept looking at her. Hotaru gave him a death glare.

"what?" asked hotaru rudely, ruka looked surprised. The other gang members were gawking at her.

"why the sudden change?" said ruka as hotaru took off her glasses and gave them a glare.

"because I am going out later with mikan and since I am single I have every right to look gorgeous" said hotaru sweetly, ruka tried to keep his emotions inside.

"already dating taru-chan?" said koko with a goofy smile. Hotaru gave him a sickenly sweet smile.

"don't call me like that...you're not my friend... what happened yesterday was unforgivable" said hotaru harshly. Natsume raised an eyebrow.

"save us the lecture, your 'friend' beat you to it" said natsume bored. Hotaru's eyes were burning with fire.

"you all are animals... how can you live with yourself... you guys make me sick" said hotaru harshly, ruka winced at her words. Mochu had enough and stood up.

He slammed his hands on her desk. "just because your ruka's ex doesn't mean we will tolerate your words" said mochu dangerously. Hotaru stood up. The whole class felt silent. They watched this drama over a year, but since mikan's arrival it turned worse...

"what, you're going to hit me? Besides don't call me that guy's ex... just pretend like it never happened... I did" said hotaru as she glanced at ruka who looked at the ground. Hotaru looked satisfied and sat back. She pulled her I-pod out and pulled her earplugs in. The rest of the day was quiet for her.

She kept thinking about ruka, yes she hated him yet they both knew how much she loved him and will keep loving him. He was her first love and they don't vanish quickly. They day that she found out he never could stay faithful to her... her world shattered. She had become so dependent on him. She was helpless, but she was able to stand on her own. It still hurts to see him with someone else... what could she do? He was out of her life and she couldn't bring him back.

No, he wasn't the ruka she fell in love with. But she didn't blame him. No it was partly his fault for being weak. He could face all of them and say that they were wrong. He was innocent, he was not guilty yet he shattered her. The one who never doubted his innocence. The one who stood by his side when people made rumors about both of them... the one who loved him truly... he just used her...

Mikan was currently changing. She felt like wearing her ASOS Lace-Up Beaded Kaftan dress. She curled her hair and wore a braided hair band. She quickly looked for her nude pumps and pulled them on. She grabbed her purse and walked out.

Somehow mikan kept thinking about the fact that she wasn't angry at all… she was in the beginning, but what would she get with being angry? It would only provoke them on annoying her. _Natsume…_

As mikan was walking out of her dorm she walked past the sakura tree and noticed a figure underneath it. somehow her feet stopped moving towards the gate and led her to the tree instead. She stopped walking and looked at the peaceful sleeping figure of natsume hyuuga. She carefully crouched next to him. She brought her trembling hand to his face to remove the bangs in front of his eyes. When she withdrew her hand natsume's hand caught hers and his eyes flew open. Mikan tried to hide her surprise.

"y-you're a-awake" stammered mikan as natsume just looked at her without showing any emotion.

"don't harass people when they sleep" grunted natsume as mikan pouted. She tried to pull her hand back.

"I was not harassing you… now let me go" whined mikan as she struggled to get her hand free. Natsume suddenly let her hand go making her fall backwards. Mikan pouted and stood up, she dusted her clothes and walked away.

"why did you come up to me" said natsume quietly as mikan turned around. _Was he awake the whole time?_

"does it matter?" asked mikan bluntly, natsume chuckled.

""no, not at all… it is just funny, I thought you were angry no better yet furious" said natsume as he looked at her. She stood there looking him directly in the eyes…

"I was furious…I swear I could rip you apart, but now here standing in front of you I don't feel angry at all... I can't help but to feel pity" said mikan with a pained expression, natsume raised an eyebrow as he looked at her.

"what do you mean?" asked natsume, no rather demanded.

"people judging you on how you look… that's why they fear you. You dress and act like a bad boy, but in fact your just plain natsume hyuuga" said mikan as natsume clenched his fist. He looked to the ground.

"you think you know everything?" said natsume frustrated as he looked her at her with an furious expression. Mikan smiled sadly.

"I know how you feel when they look at the outside and not the inside…" said mikan as she crouched and looked at him, he smirked and pulled her so hard towards him that her lips clashed with him, natsume saw this as a chance to kiss her and prove her wrong… he was bad boy natsume hyuuga. As natsume withdrew he smirked. Mikan kept her gaze towards the ground

"so you still think I am an angel?" asked natsume innocently as he smirked. Mikan looked up and hit him on his cheek.

"don't take advantage of me, jerk" yelled mikan as she stood up fast and ran away. After natsume was out of sight she breathed heavily. Her heart was thumping loudly. She stood there calming down. After a while she walked towards the gates for rui.

Natsume sighed as his cheek was burning. "damn, the girl can hit" mumbled natsume as he laughed. "you are quite amusing… mikan sakura".

As mikan hurried to the gates she saw rui and hayate waiting for her and hotaru. She smiled and waved. Rui was looking handsome as always. He wore a unbuttoned dark red blouse and black pants. Hayate wore the same combination but with a white blouse.

Mikan walked up to them and smiled. "hey! Did you wait long?" asked mikan cutely as rui pulled her in for a hug. He gently kissed her. _Why does this feel different?_

"you thinking about something?" asked rui gently as mikan shook her head and smiled. Hayate watched his leader. He was different when he was with her, but somehow it felt different than when he watched other couples.

"so when is your friend coming?" asked hayate as they heard yelling behind them. They looked and mikan smiled.

"there she is" said mikan as she pointed at an angry hotaru. Hayate whistled. Mikan glared at him.

"would you stop calling already!" yelled hotaru frustrated. Ruka kept calling her after he heard that she was going out with mikan and others.

"if you don't hang up, I will make sure to hang YOU up!" threatened hotaru. mikan, hayate and rui sweat dropped.

Hotaru threw her phone on the ground and stomped on it. after only crumbs were left hotaru turned to them and gave them a big smile making them fall anime style.

"hotaru-chan s-scary" said mikan as she hugged rui. Hotaru giggled and turned to hayate.

"anyways, I am hotaru imai" said hotaru as hayate leaned forward on his bike.

"it is certainly a pleasure to meet you, hotaru… I am hayate" said hayate with a smile on his face. Mikan's jaw dropped.

"I hope you're not flirting with her, jerk… you won't see the daylight…ever again" threatened mikan, rui held her back. Hayate sweat dropped as he turned back to hotaru.

"no I won't push her in something she doesn't want… we can start with being friends right" said hayate as hotaru nodded.

Mikan leaned towards rui to whisper. "he is so liking her". Rui nodded. Mikan sat behind rui on the bike. Hotaru looked at hayate as he smiled.

"don't worry, I won't bite. Just hop on" said hayate as he winked. Hotaru sat carefully behind hayate.

"hold on tight" said hayate as he and rui sped away…

Ruka was currently sitting besides natsume at the sakura tree. They didn't need to talk about what happened, they just knew. "I wonder… how life would been if that didn't happen" said ruka quietly as natsume gave a "hn".

"we were just at the wrong place with the wrong timing" said ruka as natsume looked in front.

"they just need an excuse… this would eventually happen anyway…" said natsume as ruka looked at him. _But it made you suffer the most…natsume_

Ruka stood up and dusted his clothes. " I am going towards the gang, wanna join?" said ruka as he tuck his hand out. Natsume didn't look up.

"no… I will see you guys later" said natsume as ruka walked away giving one last glance towards natsume. _He always cries alone… well we all are like this I guess. Even I can't tell hotaru the reason for letting her go. I can't be angry at her, she is the only girl that ever yelled at me and got away with it… well mikan too, but natsume would kill me if I hit her…_

Mikan was lying on the couch. Rui and hayate brought them to their hang out. You could see a couch, a tv, soccer tables and other games. Mikan looked at hotaru, she was having fun playing soccer table with hayate, hajime and kitsuneme.

Aoi sat across her. "neh mikan how is school?" asked aoi curiously. Mikan smiled. she loved this girl, aoi. she had long raven colored hair and green contact lenses. she never showed her real eye color, but hey green looked great on her. she just reminded her of someone familiar. she and her brother, my boyfriend had no familiar aspects. they looked different and acted different.

"it's okay, I guess" said mikan uncomfortably. Younchi smirked as he put his arm around aoi. younchi on the other hand was quite handsome. his silvery hair was always messy and his blue eyes were bright as usual.

"is my brother troubling you?" asked younchi as mikan looked at him confused. she sat up and looked at him.

"your brother?" asked mikan curiously, aoi sighed. "I told you she didn't know".

"my brother, natsume hyuuga?" said younchi as all the color drained from her face. younchi sighed and aoi stomped his shoulder and gave him the 'your so stupid' look.

"your brother?" asked mikan as she gaped at him. _Younchi hyuuga, how could I forget… I am so stupid…_

After staying with rui mikan told them that she and hotaru had to leave or else they would be in big trouble. Hayate and rui brought them back to school.

"thanks honey! I will see you soon" said mikan happily as rui nodded, she gave rui a kiss and waved to them. _Still feels different…_

"thanks, It was fun with you" said hotaru nicely as hayate smiled. He gently grabbed hotaru's hand and planted a kiss on the palm making her blush deeply. The guys left and they walked back to school.

"so you had fun?" said mikan as they walked together, hotaru nodded happily.

"I still can't believe that younchi is natsume's little brother" said mikan as hotaru sighed.

"how can you not know? Everyone knows" said hotaru as she giggled at her dense friend.

"do they have a good relationship? Natsume and younchi?" asked mikan curiously as hotaru shook her head.

"not really, younchi is one of those who doubts him… can't blame younchi though, natsume was the one that acted cold towards him and it went even worse after that" said hotaru as mikan felt sad. Somehow all the anger had disappeared she even forgot the little incident back at the tree. He was alone… all alone and she knew exactly how he felt…

"but hotaru-chan, why won't you tell me what happened that dreadful day?" said mikan curiously, hotaru showed her a small yet sad smile.

"it's not my place to tell you and even I am still grieving with the past…" said hotaru quietly as mikan stopped asking, if there was one thing she learned from her mom was that she should never push no demand people to tell her something that's not her business. _…I miss you mom…_

Suddenly you could hear thunder and at the same time it slowly started raining. Hotaru and mikan ran to their dorm on the way mikan saw a silhouette at the sakura tree. She stopped.

"hotaru, you can go. I forgot something" said mikan as she smiled. Hotaru looked weirdly at her, but mikan gave her a reassuring smile. Hotaru smiled back and ran.

Mikan walked towards the tree not caring that it rained even harder. She could feel her clothes sticking to her body. She saw natsume still in the same position. Mikan couldn't take it anymore and stuck her hand out.

Natsume looked up and saw mikan standing in the rain, fully wet with her clothes sticking to her body. Still she stuck her hand out for him to take and stand up. This was the first time someone stuck out a hand to help him…The look in her face made him take the hand and stand up. He looked at her and knew one thing for sure: she was way different from everyone and he didn't hate it.

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Rate and review!(L) so how did you guys liked it... i bet your curious what happened 'that' day? their will be more unexpeced twists in this story so keep reading!

oh and thanks for your sweet reviews love it(L)!


	6. Chapter 6

_I was told to stay away from you but you found me..._

_There was no way I could ignore you..._

_You presence captivated me, your actions amazed me, your looks scared me..._

_You were to much of a mystery to stay away from..._

_**but**_

_I should have stayed away from you..._

_You broke me into million pieces..._

* * *

**I hate that I love you**

**Chapter 6: walls**

Mikan woke up immediately by the sound of her alarm. She smiled at the sight of the sunrays emitting trough her window. she stood up and brushed her teethes. She looked outside and smiled.

Yester in the rain after natsume stood up there were 3 words he said. _Thank you polka… _mikan frowned immediately as she didn't like the third word. _Polka._ "he just had to look at my lingerie" mumbled a blushing mikan as she forgot yesterday that the rain mad her clothes sticky. It made her lingerie totally visible. "well… at least he said thank you, I will let the polka thing slide…".

Mikan walked to her closet and grabbed her river Island bleached skinny. She wore her long striped cardigan with a tank top and grabbed her studded ankle boots. Her hair was in a loose braid.

She quickly ate her breakfast and headed out the door for hotaru.

Natsume was lying in his bed looking at the ceiling. The scene of yesterday kept playing in his head… she reached out to him, because she wanted to. No one forced her… but he didn't know if he should be happy or sad…

Hotaru and mikan walked to class. "hotaru-chan, you're looking greater everyday" complimented mikan. Hotaru blushed and said a thank you. She wore a black jeans legging also known as a jegging, ASOS Cotton Babydoll Top and a black and white 4 1/2 inch Open Toe Close Back Spectator Pumps.

"you're looking great too, is it for rui?" teased hotaru as mikan shook her head.

"no, I just grabbed clothes I don't feel like getting more attention than I want" said mikan as hotaru smiled. Mikan made a few dance moves while walking. Hotaru gaped at her.

"mikan! Didn't know you could dance" said hotaru in awe, mikan blushed.

"want me to show you a few steps?" asked mikan as hotaru nodded happily.

Mikan looked around to make sure no one was watching. She started with her ever famous hip roll, from left to right. Then she bends her right knee a little bit so she can gracefully sway her upper body to the right. As last was shaking your hips towards the ground (get low). Mikan stood up and bowed with a smile. Hotaru clapped.

"that was awesome! Where did you learn it?" asked hotaru as mikan shrugged her shoulders.

"I moved a lot with my parents, so I had only a few friends. In my spare time I liked to dance, it became a habit" said mikan casually. They walked into the class.

Soon as mikan saw natsume eyes directed towards her, his look told her one thing… what happened yesterday was their little secret and no one was going to find out about it…

"good morning narumi-sensei!" said mikan happily. Hotaru just gave him a nod. Narumi blushed as mikan smiled cutely at him.

"kawai!" yelled narumi happily, making everyone sweat drop. Mikan walked to her seat and could hear the whispers clear.

"slut" whispered sumire as mikan and hotaru walked past her. Mikan glared at her but hotaru surprisingly smiled. She stopped at her table and bent down.

"sumire-chan… still grieving on the past… tsk tsk bad girl" whispered hotaru. Sumire looked at her and for once she shut up. Mikan giggled. _good one hotaru... wait... past?_

mikan looked at hotaru who smiled back at her. To be honest mikan had a lot of questions for Hotaru. like her money issue? past with ruka? that sumire thing...

There were only two seat available. One next to koko and one next to natsume. Hotaru sat next to koko while mikan sat next to natsume.

As the lesson continued natsume passed a note to mikan.

_You didn't tell her? _Mikan smiled and looked around for no one to notice.

_**No I didn't… and you?**_Mikan passed the note to natsume who smirked.

_Nope…they don't need to know… I guess this is our dirty little secret _mikan rolled her eyes after she read the note.

_**Don't say dirty, your making it sound like we did 'it' **_natsume smirked and looked around for no one to notice.

_Still… how can you not be furious at me… I almost got your raped _mikan stared at the note. _I almost got you raped… _mikan forgot that the one who hurt her was him. He ordered them… she didn't pass a note back to him, she didn't know how to react.

As the bell rang mikan couldn't face natsume… she walked out leaving them there. hotaru looked at natsume and glared. She ran behind mikan. ruka looked at natsume as natsume was looking at the retreating figure of mikan. _why don't you just tell her the truth natsume..?_

As mikan walked to the cafeteria she saw the same group of guys who almost raped her, but somehow their faces were beaten up. In shock she turned around and walked the other direction. The guys noticed it and called her.

"wait sakura-sama!" yelled one of them. Mikan turned around confused. _s-sakura-sama? what the hell?_

The guys fell on the ground and clutched on her feet. Mikan stumbled backwards. "w-what t-the h-hell?" said mikan as they begged for forgiveness.

"don't worry, I forgive you… natsume ordered you guys right? It isn't your fault" said mikan as they shook their head.

"no sakura-sama. You've got it wrong, natsume didn't order us. I accidently tore it in anger" said the other one. Mikan looked even more confused. they stood up and sighed.

"sakura-sama. Natsume just wanted us to scare you… not almost rape you" said one of them in guilt. _Then why…?_

"then why didn't he tell me so?" said mikan frustrated. He lied to her and made himself look bad.

"he probably thought you would also judge him by his looks, so he pretended to be the bad guy" said hotaru who stood behind them. She heard it all and understood immediately.

"hyuuga-sama is good in masking his feelings and emotions… he was angry that day and beat us up…although we deserve it" said the guy as mikan felt the urge to cry. _He beat them up for me? why we are nothing to each other… right? _Mikan didn't wait the guy to finish she ran towards the one place were natsume could be.

hotaru on the other hand glared at the guy who had mistreated mikan yesterday. "control your anger idiot. the next time you won't be able to walk after i am done with you" said hotaru with a dangerous tone that sent the shivers on their back.

Natsume was lying underneath his sakura tree. It was so peaceful and quiet… "HYUUGA" yelled the familiar voice of a certain brunette. Natsume looked up and got a hit on his cheek… again.

"what the hell? Why is it every time you see me alone you smack me?" said natsume furious as he rubbed his red cheek, but the look on mikan's face made him quiet.

"why didn't you tell me the truth?" said mikan frustrated as she felt tears well up. Natsume sighed.

"what does it matter" said natsume quietly as mikan started to hit him in the chest with her fist. (not that it hurt him)…

"it does fucking matter!" yelled mikan as she looked up, her pained expression softened natsume a little bit.

"okay… they weren't supposed to do that… there I said it happy?" asked natsume as mikan let her tears fall. Natsume sighed.

"why are you crying" asked natsume as he looked at the girl in front of him. The first day she was a sharp girl, but the more days she is here… she is becoming more and more vulnerable.

"I am sorry! For misjudging you" said mikan a she cried more. Natsume sighed and placed his hand on her head.

"it's okay… I guess, I was a jerk when we first met" said natsume as he chuckled mikan glared at him.

"yeah you were the devil himself" she said as she sniffed cutely, natsume's vein popped.

"don't push it polka" said natsume as mikan flicked her forehead. mikan stuck her tongue out in response.

"so we are now like friends…?" asked mikan uncomfortably. Natsume stayed silent.

"don't expect too much… I still think you're annoying" said natsume as mikan pouted.

"well I still think you're a arrogant jerk" said mikan as she stood up. But before leaving she gave him a warm smile.

"thank natsume… for telling me the truth" said mikan with a soft voice and walked away. Natsume sighed and bent his head.

"what are you doing natsume..?" he mumbled to his self.

Hotaru was watching from the roof. "no matter how much everybody warns you… you still do as you like" said hotaru with a sigh.

"is it bad for them to be together?" asked ruka as he stood next to her. Hotaru stayed silent for a while.

"I don't want her to get hurt…besides she has Rui and no one said anything about being together. Just because she said thank you, doesn't mean something will come out of it" murmured hotaru as she leaned on the railing. Ruka turned around and leaned on the railing with his back.

"natsume won't hurt her …" said ruka as hotaru raised her eyebrow.

"how can you be so sure?" asked hotaru curiously as ruka smiled making her heart skip a beat.

"because he beat those guys up for touching her" said ruka as hotaru looked back at the sakura tree.

"he really did that for someone he just knew?" asked hotaru surprised as ruka stayed silent for a while.

"what makes you think he just knew her? Maybe he knew her all along…" said ruka as hotaru was confused.

"it doesn't matter, since she has rui… it just doesn't matter" muttered hotaru as she was looking at the sky.

"feeling can't hide hotaru, they just can't" said ruka as hotaru sighed.

"but hotaru I actually-" hotaru cut him off as she looked in his eyes.

"no, no more excuses… I meant it when I said we are done" said hotaru as she left ruka alone on the roof.

Mikan told hotaru that after school she was meeting with a good friend of hers. Mikan bid her goodbyes and walked out the gates.

As she was waiting in the most expensive hotels in Tokyo her friend came running. "gomen Mikan-chan! I am so sorry for being late, but my photo shoot was taking more time than I expected" said a girl with pink curls to mikan as she bowed hundred times.

This girl was Anna Umenomiya. She was a famous idol. She is in a duo together with Nonoko Ogasawara. She may look like an angel with her perfect cotton candy like curls and big innocent blue eyes, but in fact she is the most sharpest girl mikan had ever met. She is considered one of her good friends.

Mikan helped her with her career since her parents were best friends with her parents. After mikan's mom died Anna had always been there for her.

"Anna! Lovely to see you!" said mikan as she hugged her friend.

"oh gosh me and Nonoko missed you so much. Nonoko couldn't make it, her interview is in about 10 minutes" said anna apologetically. Mikan smiled.

"doesn't matter… her career is everything she has" said mikan as Anna smiled at her kind-hearted friend. In fact what mikan said was true. Nonoko had only her career her parents died when she was a kid. She lives now in a penthouse together with Anna.

"but what was the sudden call Anna, you seemed stressed" said mikan curiously. In fact mikan didn't knew that Anna had hired professionals to investigate the 'accident'. Anna always thought there was something wrong and she was just proved right.

"mikan very bad news… your mom didn't die in a accident… in fact she was killed" whispered Anna as mikan let her wine fall out of her hands. Everything became black around her…

_Mom…what happened that day?_

* * *

**R&R! YOOOOOOOOOOO(L)! thanks for reading my story and i am so glad you like it so far! **

**Irumi Kanzaki said tht hotaru is different in this story:O glad you noticed:$. i wanted to make her more vulnerable. cuz that cold thing is just not workingXD **

**akadabra-kaching is really into my storyXD i loved your review and you seem to be really into the story:O i am glad!**

**BeArOcKpRiNxEsS i am glad you liked itXD i mean we don't want it to serious right:O**

**xxLovelyRosexx thanks for thinking my story is the bestestXD ever:O so cuteXD!**

**thankyou for the others who reviewed my story(L)! i will put your reviews on the next chapter:$**

**keep reading and try not to kill meXD(L)!**

**lovelovee**


	7. Chapter 7

_I was told to stay away from you but you found me..._

_There was no way I could ignore you..._

_You presence captivated me, your actions amazed me, your looks scared me..._

_You were to much of a mystery to stay away from..._

_**but**_

_I should have stayed away from you..._

_You broke me into million pieces..._

* * *

**I hate that I love you**

**Chapter 7: lies**

Mikan woke up by the sound of the rain. She slowly sat straight and looked around. _Where the hell am I? _she looked at the table next to the bed and noticed a picture of her and Rui.

_Oh… I am at rui's… but how?_

She walked slowly to the door to turn the light on. As the light was switched on she smiled. _Yup this messy room is his._

She went back to the bed and registered what had happened. Anna had told her that her mom was killed… _**murdered.**_

_Who would kill my mom and why? Has it something to do with the things I can't seem to remember?_

The door opened and rui walked in. he looked really worried. Mikan gave him a weak smile and bravely hold back her tears.

"are you okay? Anna told me you fainted because you ate nothing" said rui as he placed his arm around her. Mikan snuggled closely to rui and clutched on his shirt.

_She lied? Well maybe it's better if no one knows about it…_

"uhm… y-yeah" said mikan a little uncomfortable by lying to him, but it was for her mother's sake.

"I contacted your school… they said it would be okay if you came tomorrow. Health goes first" said rui softly as mikan smiled at her boyfriend. _Why are you always so nice to me?_

"go change, I am taking you out for dinner" said rui as mikan looked confused.

"rui… my clothes are at my house" said mikan as she looked at him, he simply smiled.

"aoi got you a dress, as a get well soon present she said" said rui as he grinned, mikan blushed. She stood up but was pulled back by rui right into his arms.

"mikan, don't make me worried. I thought something bad had happened" said rui as he hugged her close he inhaled the sweet scent of her strawberry shampoo.

"gomen rui" said mikan softly as she looked up, rui blushed deeply at the cute side of his sweet innocent girlfriend. He kissed her softly as mikan had shock written all over her face. She blushed.

_I wonder if natsume can kiss softly too… wait, WAIT! What the hell am I saying?_

Mikan quickly stood up. "the clothes are in aoi's room? Where is she?" asked mikan as she looked at the ground, rui chuckled. _Gomen rui…_

"aoi is with younchi and yes the clothes are in her room" said rui and mikan hurried away. Rui looked at her retreating figure and smirked.

_The is no way I will let you go away from me… I will stay by your side forever, if you like it or not…_

Mikan gaped at the dress it was an Anne Klein Sequin trim silk dress. She loved the aquamarine color. Aoi really knew what she liked. As she wore the dress she looked at herself in the mirror. Her braided hair was loose and was between wavy and curl, the perfect combination. Her shoes were just simple strapped high heels.

She smiled sadly at her reflection in the mirror. _Mom I wonder if things would be different if you were by my side…_

_Would you support my relationships?_

_Would you bake cakes together with me on our free days?_

_Would we go shopping together and buy clothes for each other?_

_Would you scold me for my bad grades and bad behavior?_

_Would you show up at my dance competitions and cheer loudly for me?_

_Would you love me and never leave my side?_

_Mom... why did you leave me alone…_

_i need you..._

Mikan fell on the ground and covered her mouth to prevent the screaming. Tears began to flow and she clutched her heart with her other hand.

_Mom I promise you I will find out what happened_

_I will NEVER forgive those who tore us apart…_

Her phone made a buzzing sound. Mikan wiped away her tears and grabbed her phone, opening the text she just got.

**Mikan-chan! Are you alright? **

**You suddenly fainted! I was so worried, so I called rui.**

**I didn't tell him anything, it's better if no one knows.**

**I am so sorry, I must have given you a major shock.**

**I will always stay by your side.**

**I will contact you soon if I find something more.**

**Love you, **

**anna**

mikan smiled as she read the text. She texted back a thank you for telling me everything. _Anna we will find the person who did this… I am glad to have you by my side. _she put poweder under he eyes and faked a smile.

She walked off the stairs to rui who was already downstairs waiting for her. Her wore his black gucci blouse and sexy jeans. He stared at mikan in awe. _Drop dead gorgeous…_

Mikan blushed at his stare. She twirled around. "so how do I look?" asked mikan teasingly. Rui gaped. "g-gorgeous" stammered rui, mikan giggled. They walked to his white Bentley.

Hotaru was in her room, lying on her bed, she was freaking tired. Her phone rang.

"Hello?" said hotaru softly as she turned around in her bed.

"**hey hotaru, it's me hayate"** hotaru sat straight immediately and smiled happily.

"oh hey hayate, what's up?" she was completely awake. She liked it when he called her. It was a weird feeling, but not like the times ruka called her.

"**nothing much, I was wondering… would you like to go to a movie?"** asked hayate trough the phone, luckily he couldn't see her, because she was blushing deeply.

"y-yeah, I would love to!" said hotaru a little too excited as she looked outside the window. Hayate chuckled.

"**great, I will pick you up in a hour"** said hayate trough the phone as he hung up, hotaru looked at the clock. It was 5 pm and she had to be at school before 9 pm. Oh well, she would make it.

Hotaru hurried to her closet and quickly grabbed her miss real chiffon dress. It had long puff sleeves and was above the knee. It fitted her perfectly.

She combed her hair and put on her faux-pearl hair band. she searched the whole room for her black bow front miu miu shoes. She looked at the time and she had only 5 minutes left. Where was her purse? She sighed and decided to take her small chanel purse with her.

She sprinted out her room towards the gate, were hayate would be. She walked so fast that she didn't notice the hottie in front of her, she bumped into the famous tsubasa andou.

Both of them fell on the ground. hotaru groaned in pain as tsubasa winced.

"hey watc-" he stopped as he noticed who he bumped into, he whistled at the sight of hotaru, hotaru rolled her eyes in response.

"what?" asked hotaru irritated as she stood up and dusted her clothes. She just had to bump in to trouble.

"looking sexy hotaru, wow" said tsubasa impressed as he looked at her from top to toe. Hotaru sighed and tried to walked past him, but he simply blocked.

"and where is miss hotaru going all dressed up?" said tsubasa teasingly as he leaned on the wall next to her. Hotaru glared at him and tsubasa just smirked back.

"why do you care?" said hotaru rudely as tsubasa acted hurt.

"ouch sweetheart, that hurts. i thought it was for me" said tsubasa as he leaned forwards making her lean back.

"you know, if you weren't ruka's ex I would most definitely date you" said tsubasa in a cocky voice. Hotaru smiled sweetly at him.

"I am glad you didn't do me such a big favor" said hotaru sarcastically as she pushed him aside. When she was about to walk away tsubasa grabbed her hand.

"but I am serious hotaru… if ruka didn't get in my way… you would be mine" whispered tsubasa as he winked and walked away leaving hotaru confused behind. _that day will come, when you will only look at me... _

Hayate was waiting at the entrance when he saw koko and mochu walked towards him he stood up and smirked.

"oi, what are you doing here?" said mochu as he stood right in front of him.

"waiting for my date" said hayate bluntly as koko raises his eyebrow.

"a date with someone from our school?" said koko as they kept glaring at each other when someone interrupted them .

"what are you guys doing?" asked hotaru as she narrowed her eyes. Mochu and koko looked at each other and then her.

"don't tell me… you're his date?" said mochu as he gaped at her, hotaru blushed and hayate pulled her towards him.

"what if she is" said hayate as he smiled at hotaru. Hotaru sat behind him when mochu and koko tried to stop her she glared daggers at them.

"like I said, you guys are nothing to me… so get the fuck away from me" said hotaru coldly as they sped off leaving mochu and koko shocked behind.

Rui leaded mikan towards their V.I.P. table, mikan looked in awe as she saw the beautiful decorated table. There were flowers everywhere, pink and red roses of course (her favorite ones).

As they both sat mikan smiled at rui. "you really didn't have to do all this" said mikan. Rui smiled back and grabbed her hand as mikan flinched by his touch.

"I love you, that's why I will do anything for you" mikan gave him a smile and the same time she felt a little disappointed and guilty at the same time. disappointed because she secretly wanted to have dinner with natsume and guilty because she felt like two timing. _But I am not dating natsume. So I shouldn't feel guilty… I ... love rui and rui loves me… end of story._

_But still… what is this weird feeling?_

"were are the others?" asked mikan as she ate her dinner. Rui chuckled.

"well, younchi and aoi are having dinner at Vapiano's… hayate is to the movie with your best friend" said rui amused as mikan gaped at him.

"no freaking way! That's so cool…but … I swear if he just does one thing wrong… he won't make the next day" said mikan dangerously as she stabbed her meat. Rui sweatdropped.

"don't worry, he really likes her" said rui as mikan nodded and smiled.

"i personally think that aoi and younchi are the cutest couple" said mikan as rui snickered.

"yeah, it's too bad he is living with that stupid hyuuga kid" said rui darkly as mikan sweatdropped.

"well yeah, they are blood related after all" said mikan as she ate her dinner, rui looked weirdly at her.

"mikan… younchi and natsume are not blood related, younchi is a orphan" said rui as mikan's fork dropped.

"…say what?".

Hotaru and hayate came out the cinema. Hotaru giggled at hayate's face. "you know, you're staring at me like I am no human" said hotaru as hayate blushed.

"no no no, I was just surprised that a girl can actually like horror" said hayate surprised as hotaru raised her eyebrow.

"is that an insult to the female population?" said hotaru as hayate shook his head hastily.

"NO NO, I didn't mean that… I am just surprised that you actually laughed at those blood and gore scenes" said hayate as hotaru giggled.

"yeah I know. You're not the first person telling me this" said hotaru as she joked, but suddenly her smile disappeared.

**Flashback**

"_oh my god! That movie was fucking awesome!" said hotaru as she smiled to ruka, they walked out the cinema. He placed his arm around her._

" _I was a little disappointed that you didn't scream and hugged me like girls normally do" said ruka in a teasing voice, hotaru blushed and stuck her tongue out._

"_I was actually surprised that you laughed at those blood and gore scenes" said ruka amused as hotaru giggled._

"_but that's what I like about you… your different and mine" whispered ruka in her ear as hotaru turned around and kissed him._

**End of flashback**

"hotaru, your okay?" said hayate worried as hotaru gave him a weak smile.

"y-yeah, just a little hungry" said hotaru as hayate grabbed her hand and walked towards a restaurant.

_No matter how much I want to forget you, you're always on my mind…_

Natsume, akira and tono were on the roof waiting for the others. "I saw you and princess-chan under the tree yesterday" said tono slyly as he smirked natsume kept silent and stared at the sky.

_Where is she? It is her fault I keep thinking about her… ugh stupid girl…_

"oi, what's wrong?" said tono as he looked at his leader who didn't utter a word, he seemed lost in his own thoughts. tono looked at akira who shrugged his shoulders. Koko and mochu came walking towards them with still shocked faces.

"what happened?" asked akira curiously as he looked at koko and mochu. Mochu sighed deeply.

"don't tell ruka, but hotaru went on a date with hayate" said koko as natsume looked at them and widened his eyes. Hey told them with his eyes to look behind him. As they turned around them met two furious eyes of ruka. mochu, tono, akira, koko and natsume looked at each other.

_oh shit…_

"yo, what are you guys doing on the roof?" asked tsubasa casually as ruka pushed him aside and ran the stairs off. Tsubasa looked weirdly at him and then looked at them.

"what's wrong with him?" asked tsubasa as he raised his eyebrow. Tono sighed deeply, natsume lay down again and koko and mochu looked at the ground, non pf them ran after him... he needed his time alone...

"he accidently heard us say that hotaru is on a date with hayate" said koko as tsubasa smirked.

"he left her and she is dating someone else… what's so wrong about that?" asked tsubasa as mochu grabbed his collar.

"don't talk bullshit...your chance is already gone" said mochu angrily as tsubasa grabbed mochu's hand and slapped it away. He looked at mochu.

"you never know my friend…" said tsubasa as he smirked and walked away. akira stood in front of him.

"andou, still holding a grudge against ruka because of her?" said akira as he looked at his friend. tsubasa grinned.

"non of your damn bussiness, akira" said tsubasa harshly, akira was about to grab his collar when mochu hold him back.

"tsubasa, be careful… don't get in the way of ruka" said natsume, still on the ground looking at the sky. tsubasa turned around with cold eyes.

"he got in my way first, didn't he?" said tsubasa as they all kept silent. tono laughed to ease the tension.

"what are you all getting worked up for? Let's grab something to eat" said tono as koko nodded. Natsume stood up and looked at tsubasa who turned back in his joker self and sighed.

_You will ruin your friendship if you don't watch out…_

Hotaru and hayate were sitting at vapiano's after they finished they walked out. Suddenly hayate grabbed her hand, she looked at him and giggled, he was bright red.

_I can try to forget you right?_

Hotaru gasped as she saw what time it was. It was 8.30 pm. "I have to go" said hotaru as she pointed at the time. Hayate nodded and smiled. They got on his motor and sped off.

Hayate dropped hotaru at the gate and when hotaru was about to walk away, hayate pulled her towards him and slightly pecked her cheek. Hotaru blushed. She waved at hayate as he rode off.

Hotaru walked to her room casually, she would check later if mikan was back. As she came in at the dorms she stopped.

Ruka was sitting next to her door on the ground. she walked closer and crouched. Ruka was sleeping soundless and somehow it made hotaru smile… tears slid down her eyes.

_Why do you keep making my heart hurt…_

_I just wanted to forget the past…_

Hotaru sat next to ruka and waited there for him to wake up, but as the time went forwards she fell asleep next to him. Her head on his shoulder.

_No matter how much I try to forget you… I will always love you and will keep loving you from a distance…_

* * *

love it? anayways sorry for the short chappie, rate and review please!

i made this chapter short because there a lot of stories i have to complete plus i have 3 new awsome stories, (have to upload it but i wanna wait a little)

_**thank you for your nice reviews:**_

**Janet NT, i am glad you liked it alot! i hope you liked this chapter too?**

**,**** omg! you specially reviewd for me, that is so nice of you! thank you thank you sooooooooo much!(L)**

**akadabra-kaching, i keep giving you a headacheXD, anyways look i know was kind of a attempt rape but it was not natsume's fault he just changed into that person because of others... you should try to look from his point of view, but i think your also right with being traumatized... but when a person is strong they can overcome something like this. i have a friend who has been in far more worse situations... i admire her so much because of her strength! seriously if i was in her position i would be in a metal hospital... but anyways thank you for your review!**

**maaike13, thank you for reviewing! so did you like this chapter too?**

**BeArOcKpRiNxEsS, rui specially for you in this chapter(L)! thanks for reviewing!**

**Irumi Kanzaki, ýou know, you are really smartXD to figure some things out, but believe me when i say some things will comeplety shock you thanks for reviewing(L)!**

**Animeromance luver , glad you liked it, keep reading! thank you for your kind review(L)!**


	8. Chapter 8

_I was told to stay away from you but you found me..._

_There was no way I could ignore you..._

_You presence captivated me, your actions amazed me, your looks scared me..._

_You were to much of a mystery to stay away from..._

_**but**_

_I should have stayed away from you..._

_You broke me into million pieces..._

_

* * *

_

**I hate that I love you**

**Chapter 8: the ugly truth**

Hotaru groaned as she looked at the clock next to her bed. It was 1.30 AM and she was awake because of her stupid headache.

Hotaru slowly rose up and got out of her bed. Then it suddenly hit her…

_Did I fell asleep outside my room… with ruka?_

Hotaru quickly looked around to maybe find ruka in her room. She looked disappointed as she noticed he already left.

"what were you doing outside my room ruka?" mumbled hotaru as she looked outside to the sky.

_**Can we pretend that airplanes  
In the night sky  
Are like shooting stars  
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)  
**_

Mikan looked at the moon as she lay down on the roof. It was all becoming too complicated… younchi and natsume were not blood related?

But most importantly… why did she care? It was their business… she shouldn't interfere…

But still she had to find out why they are hiding that their not blood related… _a little investigation wouldn't hurt right?_

"mikan where are you?" shouted rui from aoi's room. Mikan turned towards the sound.

"on the roof" she shouted back, she could hear someone climbing out of the window and stepping on the roof, she turned back and smiled at rui.

"hey you" said mikan as she smiled cutely making rui smile too. He took place besides her.

"what are you doing out here? It is cold" said rui as he took of his jacket and put it around her shoulders, mikan smiled thankful at him.

"rui, was it a mistake to go to Gakuen Alice?" asked mikan out of the blue. Rui looked at her. Mikan looked so troubled, maybe agreeing with that old man was not such a good idea. He didn't want her to be sad or hurt.

"why? Don't you like it there?" asked rui surprised as mikan gave a smile. "no I like it with hotaru there… but still I don't know" said mikan with sadness in her voice.

"I think a lot about my mom when I am there… like she was there" said mikan as rui looked at her. She was broken and he felt guilty… because he knew it was partly his fault…

Ruka sighed as he grabbed a rock and threw it in the lake. He felt stupid for letting her go… but he had to… if he didn't she would drown in all the rumors… She may look strong but he knew the real hotaru… the sweet and vulnerable hotaru…For her to keep being like that, he had to let her go…

_**Can we pretend that airplanes  
In the night sky  
Are like shooting stars  
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)  
**_

"i wish everything turned back to how it was… I really wished that didn't happen" said ruka as he shook his head and laughed sadly.

"don't worry hotaru… I won't bother you anymore… I will let you go" said ruka to himself as he looked at a small rock and threw it in the lake… like he was throwing away his love for hotaru.

He stood up and dusted his pants… he gave a last look to the lake and walked away. Away from all his memories with hotaru…

Hotaru felt a stab in her chest… "why does it hurt so much" she muttered silently… she felt like she was gone too far and ruka gave up his love for her...

"are you finally letting me go ruka? when I need you the most?" whispered hotaru to herself as she fell on the ground clutching her chest.

Tears started to fall from her eyes because she knew that a day would come he let her go… but she didn't knew it would come so fast.

_I thought you love me so much and would never let me go? Was I wrong again about you ruka?_

Hotaru cried more than she could… she felt like she was suffocating… drowning away in her sorrows…

Mikan sighed as she looked at the sky. "it is so beautiful, all the stars are visible" whispered mikan in awe as she looked at the sky.

"It is beautiful indeed" whispered rui back as he looked at mikan, mikan looked at him curiously as he cleared his throat.

"the sky I mean" said rui quickly as mikan giggled. She looked at rui. Why couldn't she try to love him? He was nice and caring… she didn't even know why she thought about natsume. He was so rude, selfish and arrogant… but still he was nice sometimes and acted nice without you noticing it.

Rui slid his hand into her as he squeezed it. mikan turned her head towards him and smiled.

Maybe being with you is where I am supposed to be… _what am I supposed to do?_

_**Can we pretend that airplanes  
In the night sky  
Are like shooting stars  
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)**_

Rui looked at her. "I am going in… younchi and aoi must be coming" said rui as me stood up, he looked at mikan.

"and mikan-" mikan interrupted him. "I know, don't tell anyone about younchi and natsume, because you don't want to hurt younchi's feelings" said mikan as smiled at him, rui bend down and kissed her.

"that's why I love you" he said as he climbed back through the window. Mikan sighed as she looked at the sky.

"I wish I could say the same thing rui" mumbled mikan as she looked at the moon once again and felt the tears coming up.

Natsume looked at the sky as he looked at the gates. "where the hell is she?" mumbled natsume angrily as he cursed.

Wait… why did he care were that stupid girl was? She was annoying, stuck up and arrogant… or was she?

_She was so sharp tongued when she entered this academy… but as the time flies by she is becoming more and more vulnerable… she is changing…_

_Or are we all changing as the time goes by? Is it a good thing?_

_Why are there so many unanswered questions?_ Natsume angrily stumped his fist against the wall.

"shit" he cursed loudly. "why should I care about you mikan sakura? give me one good reason" mumbled natsume as he forgot the pain in his fist.

If her face appeared in his mind… he would forget everything… every trouble, every sadness, every loneliness disappeared when he looked at her face.

"what the fuck is happening" muttered natsume as he leaned on the railing (on the roof). He bend down his head in confusion.

_What the hell is happening with me? what are you doing to me mikan…_

Ruka walked towards the schoolyard but as he walked he felt like every step became heavier. He felt like he couldn't go forward anymore…

_I am letting you go because I love you hotaru…_

He wanted to turn around and walk back… back to his memories with hotaru…

No

No… he wasn't go to be weak… he had to be strong, strong enough to take on the world and to face hotaru without the desire to take her in his arms…

No…

He wasn't going to give up…

Tsubasa threw the basketball in the basket as he was sweating. He ran towards the falling ball and grabbed it. he dribbled it towards the other basket and threw it in from a distance.

As the ball fell on the ground tsubasa looked at it. he sighed as he ran his hand trough his wet hair.

Was he wrong? Was it wrong what he said today?

He wasn't lying… he fell in love with hotaru after getting to know her… but no…

She didn't fell in love with him, she fell in love with ruka…Ruka his little 'brother' and hotaru is his first love…

"what should I do?" whispered tsubasa as he looked at the sky.

_**Can we pretend that airplanes  
In the night sky  
Are like shooting stars  
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)**_

"if I could make a wish… what would it be?" mumbled tsubasa as he closed his eyes.

He wanted to forget so badly what happened. He wanted to move on… but he couldn't… like the others he was also still stuck in the past and they changed in a negative way…

_Could things be changing now? _

"forget and move on, huh?… sounds nice" muttered tsubasa as he walked over to the basketball and grabbed it.

Natsume lay down on the ground and sighed. He knew that everyone around him was struggling with their own problems…

This school was one hell hole… so much troubles… so much bad memories… so much pain…

The only thing that had intrigued him was the meeting with mikan sakura… he hated her arrogance so much… but she made sure he knew that he was a mere human…

She made sure that he was brought back to reality…

She showed him how he had become and got humiliated instead.

that girl was someone who should've stayed away… the more she would come closer to him… the more she would get hurt…

she would break… and to be honest that would be the last thing he wanted to happen…

He looked at the sky and felt sadness flow through his whole body. How he wished his life was simple with no regrets and loneliness…

_**Can we pretend that airplanes  
In the night sky  
Are like shooting stars  
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)**_

"Wish upon a shooting star? If that were possible" muttered natsume as he stood up and walked away.

_I may not have a shooting star… I do know what I have to do…_

Mikan got up and gave a last glance towards the sky. _I am not going to hurt anyone… I made my decision… I may regret it… but this may be the right thing for all of us… so forgive me…_

Mikan smiled sadly at the moon and climbed back in the house, back towards rui…

Rui was watching tv, mikan walked up to him and sat next to him. He smiled at the girl who belonged to him. He kissed her forehead lightly and placed an arm around her.

Mikan laid her head on his chest as they watched tv. _Maybe this is how it is supposed to be…_

"I love you mikan" said rui softly out of the blue, mikan looked at him and took a deep breath.

"… I love you too" said mikan as she closed her eyes to prevent the tears from falling. _I am sorry for lying… _

Hotaru opened her window for some fresh air. She looked at the sky and felt loneliness all around her. She didn't want him to go, she needed him…

Hotaru closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She saw a shadow stand next to the sakura tree, almost under her window.

She looked at figure and let the tears fall… she knew exactly who stood there.

Ruka looked at her with a sad smile on his face… he had to let go… he must let go.

She was simply amazing… he saw her standing there looking at the sky, looking for answers. When she noticed him… he saw her tears glistering in the moonlight. He was hurting her to much…

He had to let go…now…

Ruka gave her a last glance and walked way… away from the one who he called 'his everything', away from her tears. He couldn't bear her cry.

Ruka bend his head and let the tears fall without any sound… he was crying silently and he wouldn't let her know… how much pain was he going to give her…

Hotaru bend her head as her fist were tightly shut, becoming white. She fell the tears fall on her fist… she didn't care because he made clear that it was over…

Everything was over because he had let go…

She couldn't take it

anymore and closed the windows. She looked around. Her room was so dark… so… so lonely. He always used to be here…

They would sit on the bed and talk for like forever… they would goof around, they would be enjoying each others company.

She walked over to her dresser… she placed the photo back up and smiled sadly. _WHY?_

_Why, why, why, why, why?_

The sadness was slowly being replaced with anger… what had she done to deserve this?

Hotaru looked at the mirror in disgust. "it is all your fault!" yelled hotaru furiously as she tried to punch her reflection in the mirror. Breaking the mirror instead.

The pain in her hand, the blood spilling on the floor and the glass pieces in her hand were nothing compared to the pain she felt in her heart, the 'glass pieces' in her heart…

"…Why ruka?"

_**'I could really use a wish right now'**_

_**

* * *

**_

**so how did you like it? kinda sad right:O well i was listing to airplanes (B.O.B ft Hayley) and had this inspiration... also listen: i love the way you lie (rihanna ft eminem)**

**rate and review: also there was this question about some thing:**

**this is lyrics or quotes**

_thoughts_

"what they are saying""

* * *

Love youuu(L)!

xxxx


	9. Chapter 9

_I was told to stay away from you but you found me..._

_There was no way I could ignore you..._

_You presence captivated me, your actions amazed me, your looks scared me..._

_You were to much of a mystery to stay away from..._

_**but**_

_I should have stayed away from you..._

_You broke me into million pieces..._

_

* * *

_

**I hate that I love you**

**Chapter 9: tearful dreams**

"_mom?" she looked around desperately finding the one person she loved the most in her life._

"_mommy?" her voice was becoming more and more shaky as the silence engulfed her._

"_mommy… I am scared" her voice came out as a whisper… where was she? She felt like crying, the tears started forming in her eyes. __As her sobbing continued quietly, the door opened revealing the one she needed._

"_mikan! What's wrong?" her mom came hurriedly towards her and hugged her closely, mikan's sobs became louder._

"_I thought… I thought you left…" whispered mikan quietly as her mom kept hugging her. She gently took her hands and made her look at her._

"_mikan, I will never leave you… never" stated her mother clearly with comforting eyes… but that didn't ease her._

"_then why do I keep dreaming that you will leave me?"_

Mikan woke up all sweaty and shaking uncontrollably. "what the hell was that all about?" whispered mikan to herself as she buried her face in her hands.

She turned around to look at the clock… 4.30 AM. "to early" whined mikan as she fell back in her bed. She closed her eyes and opened the same moment.

Would she have the same dream again?

Would it be safe to sleep again?

"since we are up… mind as well take a bath" mikan walked to the bathroom as quietly as possible without waking aoi. She looked at the girl and smiled. Aoi was so simple yet beautiful… still she didn't see any resemblance with rui. Both were beautiful she had to admit that… but they had absolutely nothing in common…

_Weird…_

Mikan shrugged and walked to the bathroom not thinking about the little things that confused her, when she should. It would help to solve the puzzle.

**You have to start somewhere…**

Hotaru stared at the sky, the sun was coming up. She didn't sleep at all last night… she couldn't…

Hotaru slowly stood up and walked to the bathroom with small steps, she looked at her hand and kept staring at it. it didn't hurt? Should it? the pain she felt in her heart was nothing compared to her hand with glass pieces. Her vision became a little unclear, but it didn't stop her.

She walked to the sink and pulled the pieces of glass out of her hand only to have her other hand be full with small pieces. As the pieces fell in the sink and more blood gushed out off her wound, she felt nothing, not even a slight bit. hotaru opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed a bottle with vidocin. She didn't wanted to feel the pain in her peaceful sleep. Hotaru opened the bottle and took out a handful pills and quickly put them in her mouth. Weird... _it tastes like metal, oh wait that's the blood. _Hotaru gulped down water and sighed.

She just wanted to sleep.

Hotaru looked at her hand and saw even more blood coming out, her clothes began to soak, her hand were full with blood… and yet it still didn't hurt. She looked at her vision in the mirror.

Her eyes were dull and puffy and her face was paler than before. She felt her legs shake a little, she wobbled to her bed and lay down. A little sleep wouldn't hurt. Hotaru closed her eyes and engulfed in the darkness, forgetting every pain and every sorrow.

Ruka woke up breathing heavily. What was that weird feeling… he felt like his stomach was in a knot. A very bad feeling…The same feeling when they were involved in that accident… were they lost 2 people close to them.

Ruka stood up reluctantly and walked to the bathroom while having bad memories in his head.

"_ruka onii-chan! Where is nat-nii? He promised to buy me a teddybear!"_

Ruka stopped in his tracks. "I am sorry we didn't buy you that teddybear back then… Aoi".

_"nat-nii! You promised!" whined natsume's little sister as she jumped up and down. Natsume sighed. He bend down and looked at her._

_"aoi… next time… I promise!" aoi made a puppy dog face and sniffed._

_"I will ask aunty to buy it for me!" yelled aoi as she stuck her tongue out. She ran out of his room as he shook his head. The same time a girl his age walked in._

_"what was that all about?" she asked curiously as he smiled at her._

_"aoi was whining again" said natsume as the girl gave him a bright smile._

_"I wish I had a little sister like her" said the girl as natsume walked up to her._

_"you know she sees you as her big sister" he said as he rolled his eyes, the girl gave him a playful punch on the shoulder. She tossed her hair over her shoulder._

_"so are we going or what?" she asked innocently as he smiled and took her hand._

Natsume opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. That was one confusing dream…There was something wrong…It was like he was missing something. He didn't lose his memories yet something felt wrong.

Natsume shook off the weird feeling and walked to his bathroom, getting ready for another miserable day.

The halls slowly started filling with grumpy students. Everyone was still either sleeping or chatting. Ruka walked with a solemn look on his face. He felt like he had to prepare for something, something bad.

Tsubasa ran his hand through his hair as he sighed. "tch. No sleep at all" muttered tsubasa as he walked to his class. Today it felt like there was a cloud above his head and he had no idea why.

He noticed tono and walked up to him. "yo" said tsubasa as tono raised his eyebrow. "you look like shit man" said tono as tsubasa rolled his eyes.

"no shit Sherlock… I couldn't sleep… at all" muttered tsubasa gloomily as tono laughed. The same time ruka walked up to them. tsubasa looked at him and smirked.

"you look even worse than me" said tsubasa as ruka looked at him with that somber look. Tsubasa glanced at tono.

"what's wrong dude?" asked tono as ruka shrugged his shoulders.

"dunno, have this weird feeling" said ruka as tsubasa looked at him. _Your weird feelings are always correct… remember?_

"let's forget it! up to the others" said tono lively as ever, yet the worry in his eyes didn't go unnoticed by tsubasa.

_I hope your wrong this time ruka, hope this time you feeling is just your own sorrow… please let nothing be wrong_

Mikan hurriedly pulled her hair in a ponytail as she slipped on her vans. "aoi, does this looked okay?" asked mikan as aoi nodded. She looked at mikan's outfit. Mikan wore a striped shirt dress that fell off her shoulder and a legging with her favorite aqua colored vans.

"beautiful as always mikan-onee-chan" grinned aoi as mikan smiled grateful. "I am so glad to have you here aoi! I feel like I know you forever!" said mikan happily as she hugged her 'little sister'. Aoi smiled back.

"yeah! Me too, I feel like I have always known you" joked aoi as they laughed. But deep down in their hearts, without knowing they knew that what they were saying was the truth.

But forgetting about the truth is another thing.

Yuu sighed as he closed his laptop. It was wrong to hide the whole truth from everyone, but he had to. "if they find out, it will make an even bigger mess" muttered yuu.

He thought about his friends and gave a sad smile. "you guys think you know the truth, when none of you does… the truth is something that none of you will be able to bare" he quietly muttered as he stood up and walked to his class.

A puzzle isn't complete without every small piece… and everyone around him was a small piece and together they were completed…Yet he knew that if that happened they would shatter like a broken mirror that can't be made. Even when it would be glued together you could still see the 'scars'.

Life was so unfair… he felt like telling them…yet he didn't want to.

Yuu kept thinking till he bumped into his friend koko. Koko grinned as he saw yuu but slowy looked curiously at him as yuu looked spaced out.

"whatcha thinkin'" asked koko as yuu snapped out of his trance. He smirked at koko.

"your hair is weird" said yuu bluntly as koko whined. He struggled with his hair as he forgot about yuu.

"let's head for class" said yuu as he gave koko a pat on his back as they walked to class. Soon followed by mochu and the others.

Mikan jumped of rui's motor and smiled thankfully at him. "I will see you as soon as possible!" said mikan happily as rui pulled her close for a kiss. Mikan hesitated for a second but gave in. his lips felt so warm yet there lacked something… as she pulled back she blushed, rui chuckled at her.

"seeya" he winked at her as he rode off. Mikan took a deep breath and turned around only to notice a group of well known guys standing outside around a bench. She knew they looked at her but her eyes were only fixed on a certain crimson eyed lad.

_His eyes… _mikan snapped back to reality and walked with a neutral look towards the main door. "mikan-chan!" yelled tono happily as mikan rolled her eyes but still gave a small smile.

"yes?" tono looked at her and grinned. "were you with that rui-idiot outside school, again?" asked tono slyly, yet the disgust was visible in his voice. Mikan looked at natsume and saw him looking at her with a gaze that made her turn towards tono.

"yes, I fainted outside school and my friend called him. Because he is my… my boyfriend" said mikan as she took a deep breath and tried to look at natsume without pain.

Natsume was looking at the ground, which seemed more interesting than her. Mikan turned away and walked towards her classroom. She stopped in her tracks and turned around.

"where is hotaru?" asked mikan as they shrugged. Mikan turned away and walked further. Away from him and is gaze.

"tch. Let's go" said natsume as stood up and walked to the classroom. He felt like someone stabbed him right in the heart. _Boyfriend huh? I should've known you would choose him… I am glad you did… then why do I feel pain?_

Mikan walked to her classroom, and noticed everyone looking at her. She looked around to find hotaru, but she didn't saw her… _how weird. _She saw narumi walking to their classroom and walked up to him. "sensei? Can I check up on hotaru?" said mikan with a worried glance in her eyes. Narumi looked at her.

"are you worried?" asked narumi as mikan gave him a no. "I just don't know" said mikan as narumi nodded and let her go. Mikan walked towards hotaru's room.

_**Sometimes you wish you knew everything and you saw everything so you wouldn't have to worry.**_

Ruka sighed deeply as he felt his legs tremble. Natsume looked at him as they sat in the classroom. "what's wrong?" asked natsume as ruka shook his head.

"nothing, still… I don't know" said ruka as he gave a frustrated sigh. Yuu looked natsume as he gave him a noticeable look.

"let's go, you need fresh air" said yuu as ruka and the others walked out.

_**And sometimes you wished that the feeling you had was just some silly little worry…without and consequences.**_

Mikan quickened her pace as she walked towards the dorms. She didn't give a damn about the looks everyone was giving her.

She just needed hotaru. Mikan stopped in front of hotaru's door and knocked. No one opened. Mikan slowly turned the knob as the door opened with a creaking sound.

She smiled as she saw hotaru's figure under the blankets. "wake up sleepy head!" said mikan as she nudged hotaru a little… with no answer she grew impatient. She huffed irritated and pulled the blanket off hotaru.

Mikan fell on the ground with her face pale as a ghost, her whole body was shaking uncontrollably as her eyes held fear in them. A blood curdling scream was heard through out the whole school.

_**Yet this isn't a fairytale… this is real life… that bad feeling that you have will have his consequences and everyone will be effected.**_

_**

* * *

**_

**_first offf all i wanna thanks: mrysmanga, Xxdarkness-angelxX, Irumi Kanzaki, DeadlySilentAnimeLover, BeArOcKpRiNxEsS, ja9lim & CrimsonxHazel for reviewing on chapter 8._**

**_okay 2 reviews were like are we ever gonna find out what happend in the past? well... just be patient! 'try not to get mad on me with this confusing chapterXD, the next chapter will center hotaru, mikan and maybe the boys but a few past flashbacks will be seen_**

**_and some relationships will be clear... aoi, younchi, mikan's father, natsume's father, both mothers... everyone will have his piece in the following chapters._**

**_so please rate and review(L)!_**

**_i laughed at the review of deadlysilentanimelover (the first piece):_** Dude! When are you going to let us in on the big secret of the past?

first off allXD i am not a dude honeyXD, and YES you will just be patient with me, irumi kanzaki was also asking the same quiestionXD only with out the dudeXD

PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ME(L)!

i know u love me:$

xx(L)!


	10. Chapter 10

_I was told to stay away from you but you found me..._

_There was no way I could ignore you..._

_You presence captivated me, your actions amazed me, your looks scared me..._

_You were to much of a mystery to stay away from..._

**_but_**

_I should have stayed away from you..._

_You broke me into million pieces..._

_

* * *

_

**I Hate That I Love You**

**Chapter 10: the good and bad memories**

"_need more fresh air?" said koko as he grinned. natsume rolled his eyes. They walked around the campus a bit. Ruka seemed to relax more… till a blood hurdling scream was heard._

"_who the hell is screaming?" asked yuu as they looked around and saw ruka already running._

"_ruka wait up! Where are you going?" yelled koko as they ran in full speed behind him._

_Ruka started panting. His bad feeling was right, again. He ran towards the never ending scream and slammed the door open of the one person he wished he never would have a bad feeling about._

_Mikan was on the ground still screaming while clutching her head. He didn't have to head towards her because behind natsume came running and took her in his arms, he tried to calm her down._

_Ruka walked over to the bed and felt his knees grow weak. There she was covered in blood. He felt his whole world break down… why did this have to happen? Why did the girl he loved have to be in this position? He couldn't move and yet everything around him was looking rushed. Narumi came in, the ambulance… them taking her, yuu and koko dragging him… everything around him stopped and yet moved on without him._

Ruka opened his eyes as he looked around hoping that it was a dream. He looked at narumi talking with the doctor and closed his eyes again to try and stop the never ending pain.

**Ever wished that you could change places with the one who shouldn't be in that position… all because of you… life is so unfair.**

_Five hundred and two black dots on the wall… _

"is she gonna be okay?" asked narumi sensei as the doctor sighed deeply. The doctor tried to ease the tension. He couldn't stand the pain these little kids had on their age. They should be having fun and not sitting here…

_five hundred and three black dots on the wall..._

"I can't tell you anything yet, first of all we have to empty her stomach…" narumi nodded as the doctor left.

_Five hundred and four black dots on the wall…_

Koko looked at mikan as she looked at the wall in front of her without blinking or any emotion… she just looked with a blank expression. He looked at natsume and made a sign for him to go towards mikan.

_Five hundred and five black dots on the wall…_

"polka, you okay?" asked natsume carefully as he took place next to her. Mikan didn't give any answer and continued looking at the wall.

_Five hundred and six black dots on the wall…_

"oi, talk to me" said natsume as he grabbed her arm and forced her to look at him. Mikan averted her gaze from the wall towards him.

"I lost count, now I will have to start from the beginning" was the only thing mikan murmured. She looked around and saw ruka and her body acted on his own. she pulled her arm free and stood up. She took small steps and walked towards ruka and stopped in front of him.

"what did you do?" asked mikan as she looked at ruka who looked at her with guilt in his eyes. He shook his head.

"what did you do" asked mikan, no rather demanded. Ruka bend his head. Mikan grabbed his collar and forced him to look at her.

"what the hell did you do?" hissed mikan as natsume was already by her side to pry her off ruka. mikan struggled as she looked at ruka with anger and worry.

"if anything happens it is your fucking fault" said mikan harshly as she pulled herself free. Natsume glared at her.

"that's enough mikan" natsume sounded dead serious. Mikan sneered at him and ran away.

Koko placed a hand on ruka's shoulder. "ignore her, she is wrong it is not your fault" koko tried to sound convincing. But deep down he knew that mikan may be speaking a little truth.

**Wishing that the ugly truth was a beautiful lie…**

Tono stood up and walked away. Natsume looked at him. "were are you going?" asked natsume as tono sighed, he turned half back.

"to mikan, since you're not going… I am" said tono as he looked natsume in the eyes. Natsume looked away and tono shook his head in response. He turned back and walked out, feeling natsume's eyes on his back.

**Why lie when everyone knows the truth?**

"will you guys tell me what happened when you found her?" asked narumi sensei out the blue

Yuu sighed. "well… we went out of class and after a while we heard a loud scream coming from the girls dorms and ruka… well ruka he started running and we knew that something was wrong" said yuu as he took off his glasses and placed a hand on his forehead, like he was still trying to take everything in.

"mikan…mikan she was the one screaming her head off due the shock. Natsume tried to calm her down and we called you and 911" finished koko as he leaned against the wall.

Narumi sighed as he looked at them. "let's hope everything will be okay".

Mikan played with the small stones on the ground. she looked as ambulances stopped in front of the hospital and people got out. She saw everyone rushing around her. It was just like that day, the day that took everything from her…

_wasn't it enough to take my mom? and now hotaru? no... you can't have hotaru, she has to be with me... she has to stay by my side... without her my sane mind will go INSANE!_

"you okay?" asked tono as he sat next to her. mikan came back to reality. she looked at tono and wondered what their story was. She didn't know if she could trust anyone of them. It was not like she knew them that well... they had their secrets and she had her own...

mikan looked at his face... he was different from the others. He had this aura that made you trust him and yet there was this difference.

Mikan gave him a weak smile. "she will make it right?" asked mikan unsure. As tono nodded.

"it's hotaru we are talking about. Before you know she will wake up and yell at us for looking so worried. I even think she will charge us money for worrying" joked tono as he heard mikan giggle. He smiled.

The same time she saw akira come running towards them with mochu behind him both had worry all over there face. "and (pant) what did (pant) the doctor (pant) tell?" said akira as he breathed heavily, mochu tried to catch his breath.

"we have to wait" said mikan as they nodded. "we are going towards ruka and the others. We will see you two in a minute" said mochu as he finally started breathing normally. They nodded as they left. Tono stood up and stuck out his hand for her to take. Mikan looked up and took his hand, they walked back to where the others were.

Natsume was walking around a lot. He had this weird feeling. _Was mikan alright? Was it okay to let tono go after her?_ The same time mikan cam walking towards them with tono besides her. Ruka looked up at her with hurtful eyes. Mikan sat next to him and looked at the wall once again.

"I won't say sorry, because I am not… I just hope she will be okay so I won't have to blame you" whispered mikan as ruka bend his head and placed his both hands to his face.

"she will be okay… she has to be" muttered ruka, like he was convincing himself.

Each one of them sat in silence. Even though hotaru was ruka's life she meant a lot for them, all of them. Natsume looked at mikan, why did he lately had this feeling of pain when he saw her? He never met her before and yet he saw her somewhere.

Yuu tried to stay calm, having everyone at the hospital again was a bad sign… a very bad sign, he looked at narumi who shared the same worried look as he did.

_This bad… what if they remember?_

Mikan felt her eyelids close, she engulfed the darkness and fell in sleep.

"_I can't believe it!" yelled mikan as tears started to form. Her mom tried to comfort her._

"_mikan honey, please… I know it is a shock but still don't tell you dad" pleaded her mom, mikan looked at her with betrayal in her eyes._

"_I won't tell him, don't worry" said mikan sarcastically, as she turned around and walked away. Her mom tried to stop her._

"_mikan wait! Please listen to me… your relationship with him won't change" said her mom trying to help her, mikan turned around with sad eyes._

"_mom, I love you but I love him too. How can you do this to me? your having a affair with his freaking dad! What if you get married or something? We would become siblings!" yelled mikan frustrated as her mother started to cry._

"_I know I am being unfair to you" said her mom as mikan interrupted her._

"_me? oh you're not only being unfair to me but also to rui-nii" yelled mikan as she ran way. _

Mikan's eyes flew open as she sat straight. Ruka looked at her as she closed her eyes to take away the tension.

"what's wrong mikan?" asked ruka as natsume also woke up and looked at her. Mikan gave them a weak smile.

"nothing" said mikan as she stood up. "I am going to get coffee" muttered mikan as she walked away.

**Can dreams be reality? Or do they let us see what we want to see?**

Mikan grabbed her coffee and slowly sipped it. she had to stay awake to keep those hurting dreams away. Did she wanted to believe that rui was her brother? _Your sick mikan… just sick_

Mikan sighed and took a sip. But what was the meaning of her dream? Her mom having an affair? How could she think that! Her sweet, lovable mom who loved her dad with her whole heart… her cheating? How could she blame her mom for the pain she is feeling.

_I am sorry mom… so sorry…_

She felt someone sit across her, her eyes just didn't want to look up. "you alright?" asked ruka as mikan shook her head sadly.

"alright? I feel like shit" muttered mikan a she took another sip of her coffee. Ruka stayed silent, mikan looked at him.

"why does hotaru love money and blackmailing so much?" asked mikan bluntly as ruka smiled.

"you should ask her when she wakes up" said ruka as mikan looked at him with an pained expression. _Will she wake up ruka? do you believe that? Either way it will be your fault… her pain is your fault…_

Mikan didn't answer back… she couldn't, how would she tell him that there might be a possibility that she wouldn't wake up.

She didn't had the power to keep thinking positive… if she thought that hotaru would wake up for sure and she wouldn't… she will break down…

"then answer at least this question… what happened a few years ago with you guys?" asked mikan suddenly as ruka paled, yet he managed to keep his façade on.

"what do you mean?" asked ruka polity as mikan closed her eyes. _Why are you lying to me? haven't you done enough ruka?_

"still grieving with the past, huh?" muttered mikan as ruka stayed silent. _I am sorry mikan I can't tell you, because… I don't know what happened._

"so have you ever been to a hospital before?" asked ruka changing the subject mikan nodded. "yeah, for my mom" said mikan quietly as ruka gave her a soft expression.

"is she okay?" asked ruka as mikan placed down her coffee and looked at him with a dead expression.

"she is dead" said mikan bluntly as ruka looked shocked. He tried to cover his emotions.

"I am so sorry, what happened" asked ruka as mikan smiled sadly at him. She played with her empty cup. "she had an accident, I was in the car too but only I survived" said mikan softly as ruka placed his hand on hers.

"I am so sorry" said ruka softly as mikan gave him a grateful smile. She took a deep breath and stood up. "I am going back to them" said mikan turning around and walking away. Ruka watched her walk away and stayed quiet as he had a worried expression.

"how come I can't remember a accident I was involved in… what happened that day?" muttered ruka to himself as he sank in his chair and out his both hands on his face.

"_ruka it is not your fault!" said hotaru harshly as she looked at her beloved boyfriend. Ruka was sitting near the window of her room completely silent and looked close to death._

_He had been like this since that fateful day. They had to be there and witness to people close to them burn to death._

_How could this happen… how could they die? Hotaru sat next to ruka and embraced him. She knew he needed a hug, a hug from her. The one who would always stay by his side._

"_ruka, it is not your fault… you were at the wrong place at the wrong time" said hotaru softly._

"_hotaru, they are both dead… aoi and aunty are both dead" said ruka quietly as she felt him crying inside. And for once hotaru didn't know what to say._

"I am sorry but she is not waking up" said the doctor quietly as everyone was silent. natsume narrowed his eyes.

"what do you mean with not waking up?" asked natsume as the doctor gulped, he gave them a sad expression. "I mean…she is in a coma" announced the doctor everyone looked in shock, it felt like their whole world was gone black…

**Ever had this feeling that the ground beneath you disappeared and you fell endlessly…?**

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**AAANNNDDDD? HOW DID YOU LIKE IT? okaay to clear some confusions: **

_**"these are memories or flashbacks" **_

_**these are thoughts **_

**"talking" **

**next chapter preview: **

"wrong with me? wrong with ME? YOU'RE THE ONE THAT KILLED HER" yelled mikan harshly, yuu shook his head in defeat and looked at narumi with a pained expression. I can't do this any longer….

"where are you going?" asked natsume as she glared at him. "have you all looked at yourselves? I have never in my life seen such a messed up group of friends" said mikan harshly as natsume tightened his grip on her wrist.

"you know nothing about us" said natsume dangerously as mikan forcefully pulled her wrist loose. "to be honest I am glad I know nothing about you" sneered mikan as she walked away.


	11. Chapter 11

_I was told to stay away from you but you found me..._

_There was no way I could ignore you..._

_You presence captivated me, your actions amazed me, your looks scared me..._

_You were to much of a mystery to stay away from..._

_**but**_

_I should have stayed away from you..._

_You broke me into million pieces..._

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**I hate that I love you**

**Chapter 11: the pain**

_Coma… the girl that once laughed if someone would ask her if she in pain… the one that loved movies with blood and pain… that girl was today in a coma…_

"she will be okay right?" asked ruka as the doctor decided to stay quiet. "tell me doc, she will be alright.. she has to be alright" said ruka slightly demanding natsume put a hand on his shoulder to comfort him but ruka launched himself on the doctor.

"you have to make her GODDAMN ALRIGHT! WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT DOCTOR ARE YOU!" yelled ruka as he grabbed his collar, natsume and tono grabbed him and forced him to take his hands of the doctor.

"ruka, calm down!" yelled natsume as he grabbed him forcefully.

Mikan looked at him and then at the doctor. "if it's about money, I will pay the bills or the expensive operations… I will do whatever you say. Just please save her" said mikan as she begged the doctor she clutched the wall. The doctor looked at them in pity, what could he do? He wasn't a wizard. She was in a coma and only she could bring herself back.

"all you guys can do is pray for her, unfortunately I can't do anything… we will keep an eye on her heart monitor but we can't do more" said the doctor as narumi nodded and walked with the doctor to discuss this further.

Mikan slid down on the ground as she looked defeated. _This is it, they lost… they lost hotaru and she wouldn't want to come back here, to the place that caused her pain._

**There is a reason people go in coma… it gives them two options: one come back and face everything or two embrace the light and let the pain go away…**

The same moment tsubasa came running towards them. he breathed heavily. "what the fuck happened?" asked tsubasa as he looked at them. he noticed mikan on the ground. "mikan, are you alright?" asked tsubasa as mikan shook her head and finally let the tears fall.

"she isn't going to make it, hotaru is in a coma and won't wake up" muttered mikan repeatedly. Ruka got enough and walked up to her and pulled her on her feats.

"what the fuck is wrong with you?" yelled ruka, as natsume stepped forward to stop him, yet Mochu and Akira stopped him.

"wrong with me? wrong with ME? YOU'RE THE ONE THAT KILLED HER" yelled mikan harshly, yuu shook his head in defeat and looked at them with a pained expression. _I can't do this any longer…._

"she isn't fucking dead dammit!" yelled ruka as he pushed her against the wall, tsubasa shoved him hard, making him fall on the ground. ruka looked at him, yet tsubasa glared at him.

"what is your problem, you come here just now and already start fighting with me" sneered ruka at him as yuu and Koko held him back. Natsume walked up to them.

"stop it" demanded natsume, as tsubasa laughed sarcastically. "stop what? Mikan is right, it is his fault… hotaru might never wake up! Are you happy now?" asked tsubasa harshly as ruka couldn't find anything to say back to him. Tsubasa and mikan were right. He was the one who brought her in a coma.

"I-" tsubasa cut him off. "save it ruka" said tsubasa as he looked at mikan, she was crying like forever and no one was comforting her. Natsume, the one who liked her stood there looking at her face.

"you know… I thought I would never say this but all of you are a bunch of cowards" said tsubasa as he looked at each one of them, natsume glared at him.

"that's enough shadow" said natsume as tsubasa merely laughed it off. "who are you my mom?"

"tsubasa, shut up" said Mochu anger rising in him, Koko placed his hand on his shoulder to prevent him attacking tsubasa.

"what? Angry because I said the truth?" he was sick of it. sick of giving that 'accident' the fault.

"all you guys have done is make other people just as miserable as you all are" said tsubasa as mikan had stopped crying and looked at him with confusion in her eyes.

"ah, I bet mikan doesn't know the truth about you befriending her" said Tsubasa, he felt anger rise in him and everyone knew if he got angry he wouldn't shut up.

"what are you talking about?" asked mikan as his friends looked at him, natsume swore he could kill him right now.

"natsume didn't tell you?"

**Lies ...**

"stop it tsubasa..."

**Lies...**

"he was just playing with you and your innocent mind"

**Please...**

"SHUT THE FUCK UP TSUBASA" natsume yelled in rage as he punched tsubasa in his face, he stumbled backwards as mikan pushed natsume back, to avoid him attacking tsubasa again. Mikan felt tears come up. Everything was a lie, they were full of lies...

**Let me believe in those lies...**

"I knew I couldn't expect too much from you. We were never friends and never More than friends" said mikan softly as she gave him a hard look, natsume took a step forward.

"mikan-" mikan cut him off with a hand gesture. "no. I don't want to hear anything from anyone of you" .

"mikan please list-" she cut yuu of too. "no, I seriously don't want to hear anything... I mean it" said mikan dead serious as tsubasa looked at her. Was it right to tell her? I mean it was not like he played a part in it...

why did everything turn out like this? Was it okay for him to say that? He was angry, no he was furious... the reason hotaru was in the hospital was because of ruka and his actions.

_Hotaru..._

"I wouldn't let this happen" whispered tsubasa as he wiped the blood from his mouth and nose. he looked at ruka. "I wouldn't let her get hurt, I wouldn't let it come this far" said tsubasa as his words were directed at ruka. Mikan looked at tsubasa and ruka.

Natsume came forward and placed a hand on ruka's shoulder. "what the fuck are you talking" said natsume as he glared, mikan glared at him.

"I would not let hotaru be in this state, I would not let the person I love be in a fucking coma" hissed tsubasa as mikan gaped at him. He liked hotaru even though she was ruka's girlfriend?

**It is always hard to choose between family and love...**

"shadow drop it" said mucho as he looked at him. Tsubasa looked at them and felt hurt, betrayed. "we used to be friends". He took a deep breath and opened his eyes to say what was really on his mind for a long time.

**The truth is always hard to take, yet it makes you realise that not everyone has a happy life and certainly not a happy ever after.**

"it was not that accident that made everyone abandon us, it was the coward in us that made everyone leave us. But you know what? I am done with it" said tsubasa as he turned around and walked away. Mikan looked at them and then at tsubasa she walked after him.

He walked away leaving them behind with guilt and sadness. Mikan looked at Tsubasa's retreating figure and wanted to follow him but Natsume stopped her.

"where are you going?" asked natsume as she glared at him. "have you all looked at yourselves? I have never in my life seen such a messed up group of friends" said mikan harshly as natsume tightened his grip on her wrist.

"you know nothing about us" said natsume dangerously as mikan forcefully pulled her wrist loose. "to be honest I am glad I know nothing about you" sneered mikan as she walked away.

**If the reality just could be like any other fairytale it would be so much easier...**

"nii-san?" whispered aoi carefully as she walked slowly towards the stairs. She felt her legs shake and her mind had al lot of unanswered questions. Lately she had nightmares in which she was supposed to be dead.

Her brother was not her brother and mikan was not his girlfriend... she dreamed about the guy with the same eye colour as she has... crimson. She truly hated that colour it made her think about blood. It was true that she didn't look like her brother in anyway. He had a tan, she hadn't. He had green eyes and she had crimson eyes. He had red hair while she had raven coloured hair.

But did these differences didn't matter. She loved him like her brother... still she just wanted to know if dreams had reality in them...She needed to know if it was just her fantasy or something she forgot... she felt like she was forgetting things, if she was at a certain place she had this feeling of being here before.

Was that even possible?

She stopped in front of Rui's room. She didn't know if he was at home, but she just wanted comfort. Those dreams won't stop. Aoi slowly opened the door as it made a creaking sound. The room was pitch black, aoi placed her hand on the wall searching for the light.

As she found the light button she switched it on and walked in his room. "ah, he is not here" mumbled aoi disappointed. She looked around and smiled.

She loves her brother but sometimes he would get to over-protective. Like she was not allowed to hang out with younchi at his house nor with his family. She had to stay away from the other gang and she was not allowed to hang out with Younchi's gang.

But she loves her brother so she does what he says.

"he makes such a mess" she sighed and started cleaning his desk. She grabbed the box with shoes next his table and wanted to shove it under his bed. But a big box was in the way. She grabbed the box and pulled it out.

She looked at the box and looked around. "he did always say I must never come in his room... buuuuutttt he is not here" said aoi innocently as she opened the box.

She looked at the content and narrowed her eyes. "how in the world is that possible?".

Tsubasa sighed as she kicked a rock on the ground. He was sitting near the lake that was across the hospital. He couldn't stand being there with them. What changed? What made them like this? It was so hard to understand it all. On top of that... he turned mikan against natsume. Was that the right thing to do?

Mikan sat slowly next to him without facing him. She smiled as she looked at the lake. "you know I would understand if hotaru wouldn't wake up" said mikan softly as she looked with sad eyes to the shimmering lake.

"she got sick of it. To keep acting like nothing happened, she is vulnerable. Everybody things she is strong but in fact she is not" said tsubasa as he looked at his hands. He should have comforted her with these hands but he didn't.

"sometimes I wish I could turn back the time and make her mine but that would be selfish because I know she was and will be happy with only ruka by her side" mikan said nothing and kept listening to him.

"you wanted to know what happened right" said tsubasa as he looked at the lake and closed his eyes. He heard Mikan's soft yes.

"two people died because of us. We killed them".

**Now the truth is out... who will you believe or rather what will you believe?**

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soo how did you like it? thanks for your kind reviews!

r&r!


	12. Chapter 12

_I was told to stay away from you but you found me..._

_There was no way I could ignore you..._

_You presence captivated me, your actions amazed me, your looks scared me..._

_You were to much of a mystery to stay away from..._

_**but**_

_I should have stayed away from you..._

_You broke me into million pieces..._

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**I hate that I love you**

**Chapter 12: believe those lies**

_two people died because of us. We killed them_

_We killed them_

_We killed them_

Mikan wandered aimlessly on the streets, after tsubasa left she just stood up and walked, without any clear goal.

Could they have really killed two people? Could I really believe that? Did they kill them on purpose? Or was it a accident? Did they witness a murder and got framed for it? were they on the wrong place on the wrong time? or was it planned to make it look like a accident when It wasn't...

What was the real truth?

You know those dreams when you just walk around in the dark looking around, scared? It felt like those dreams. I didn't knew what I was looking for and yet I had this feeling that I knew it but didn't wanted to accept it.

**There are two options: accident or murder… either way two people did die and everything has it consequences.**

Aoi walked in a hurry towards younchi, she just had to meet him… but where? Where would he be? She tried to call him on his cell. He just won't pick up!

"well then, which way was his house again?" muttered aoi to herself. He brother told her never to visit him… but for now she had to.

Tsubasa walked back quietly towards hotaru's room. He saw just ruka and natsume sitting there with yuu.

Yuu looked at him and smiled weakly, tsubasa gave him a nod in return. He sat on a chair against the wall and sighed.

"where is she?" asked natsume as he lifted his head to meet natsume's eyes. Tsubasa looked away.

"I don't know" muttered tsubasa quietly, he turned his head back and gave him a guilty look. Natsume narrowed his eyes as yuu stood up.

"tsubasa… what did you tell her" asked yuu carefully as tsubasa shook his head.

"sorry" natsume neared as ruka also had looked up and looked at them curiously.

"what did you tell her" demanded natsume. Tsubasa was still shaking his head.

"I didn't meant to"

"shadow, what the hell did you tell her" tsubasa looked up and said one phrase.

"I told her the truth" ruka shook his head as it hung low and natsume cursed loudly.

"why would you do that!" said natsume angrily as tsubasa stood up.

"I just did what I had to! She doesn't need another lie" said tsubasa as natsume glared.

"what are you… her boyfriend? You had no right to tell her that" natsume hissed in anger as tsubasa raised his eye brow.

"what? You wanted to tell her? As I remember you aren't her boyfriend either. What's with the anger" natsume walked away.

"where are you going?" asked yuu in concern as natsume waved a hand as he didn't look back.

"to find her" tsubasa shook his head. "I don't understand, he just barely knows her and yet he cares for her".

"you know her that well to tell her about that incident?" asked ruka as tsubasa glared at him.

"enough" said yuu as he sat, he took of his glasses and put his hand on his eyes. _He knows her to well to let her go… I didn't knew it would go this fast…_

**There is such a thin line between love and hate yet hate seems to have the upper hand...**

"everything is going wrong" said mochu as he threw his cigarette on the ground, putting it out. Akira tossed him another on as he lit his own.

"I can't remember when it all went wrong" said akira silently as koko shook his head.

"I remember… it went wrong that day when we were playing around, not knowing what that day would bring us…"

"guys… I have this question…" said koko as they looked at him. "what?"

"to be honest, I do remember what happened that day but… I can' t seem to remember the accident well or the day before and after it… I have never really thought about it because I really wanted to forget it. but lately everything reminds me of the little pieces from that day and I can't seem to make a whole picture out of it" all of them went quiet.

"I thought I was the only one who had that problem" said akira as koko looked at him. "you too?" akira nodded.

"not only him… I have the same problem" said mochu as they looked at each other.

"isn't this strange? I mean us forgetting the same thing?" mochu looked at them.

"maybe it isn't strange… maybe it wasn't even a accident forgetting the same things" muttered akira as he looked at them.

"we will ask the others".

**When you thought you knew the truth you didn't… what's next?**

"hotaru is in the hospital? That's bad" said younchi shocked as he looked at hayate. Hayate shook his head. "no the bad part is that we can't visit well not yet… mikan said we had to wait beause natsume and his gang are there" hayate grunted in annoyance as younchi nodded.

"I understand, we will have to get there later… is mikan still there?" asked younchi as hayate shrugged his shoulders. " I have no idea… rui and the others are out to somewhere, I just got a text message from mikan a while ago".

"did aoi came by?" asked younchi concerned as hayate shrugged his shoulders. he looked at him.

"are you okay, you seem so jumpy…" younchi slouched down on the couch as he sighed.

"I don't know… I have this concerned feeling… can I borrow your phone? I wanna call aoi, mine is empty" hayate handed his phone to youchi.

"beep. This is the voicemail of aoi… leave a message after the beep… beep" younchi sighed as he tossed the phone back. "I got voicemail".

Tono walked around on the streets. After everything that happened in the hospital he left for a while to clear his head.

Tsubasa was right… they were cowards…a bunch of fake cowards… they pretended to be intimidating, scary, bad ass… but in fact they were lonely and scared.

He looked in front and saw mikan walking as she looked at the ground, her thought were clearly somewhere else and without realizing he followed her.

Mikan kept walking till her feats stopped in front of the cemetery. She looked up and walked slowly towards one grave she visited when she felt down or didn't know what to do.

Tono looked up and sighed. "seriously? Cemetery? when girls feel down they usually go to parks or somewhere less creepy" tono walked slowly behind her as mikan stopped in front of a grave.

He crouched behind a tombstone. Mikan walked up to her mother's tombstone and sat in front of it.

"how are you doing mother…? I am fine… I just felt so confused that I had to visit you… I don't know who to trust anymore, I know natsume and his friends aren't bad, but what tsubasa told me really shocked me… I don't believe they killed those people" mikan sobbed quietly as tono recovered from his shock.

He told her everything? Is he insane?

But somehow I don't believe she will tell anything to others… and yet I feel scared…

I kind of pity her… non of us knew she lost her mother… it must be hard on her plus we made her high school even harder.

Mikan slowly stood up. "I will visit you as soon as possible and one more thing mom… I really love you" she blew a kiss and walked away. Tono looked up and when he didn't saw her anymore he stood up and walked to the grave she walked away from.

**in beloved memories of yuka yukihara**

**1978 - 2007**

**your daughter and husband will miss you**

"1978? Then she was 30 when she died… pretty young no wonder her daughter is cute" said tono as he chuckled.

"till 2007? That is just 4 years ago… same time as that incident" he looked at the name and narrowed his eyes.

"yuka yukihara? Where have I heard this before?"

_"hello aunt yuka, how are you" asked ruka politely as yuka smiled. _

"_always the polite one… I am fine honey and you?" asked yuka as ruka nodded. Tono smirked._

"_he is flirting with you" said tono as he chuckled, yuka shook her head as she smiled._

"_nice to see you too tono" teased yuka as tono saluted her._

"you have got to be kidding me""said tono as his eyes grew big. "mikan is her daughter?" the same time something hard hit his head as his vision blackened.

Someone hovered above him. "can't afford someone knowing too much, it's for your own good tono".

**You can't afford to have the cat and mouse game played by a dog**

"mikan grabbed her cell phone from her pocket and called the only person who can help her right now.

"anna? It's me mikan. I want to know exactly what you know of the day my mom got killed".

**How many ugly truths can you handle?**

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****rate and review!

oh and yes, the quotes are mine, i made them up...

thanksss for the nice revieuws, i am glad you all like it(L)!

r&r!


	13. Chapter 13

_I was told to stay away from you but you found me..._

_There was no way I could ignore you..._

_You presence captivated me, your actions amazed me, your looks scared me..._

_You were to much of a mystery to stay away from..._

_**but**_

_I should have stayed away from you..._

_You broke me into million pieces..._

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**I hate that I love you**

**Chapter 13: following death?**

"where the hell did she went?" muttered natsume to himself as he started his motor and rode off looking around for mikan.

It's true that he didn't knew her well and still he had this feeling of knowing her all too well. She was annoying, big mouthed and slightly tomboyish and at the same time she was elegant, beautiful and so vulnerable.

It hadn't been a long time, her being among them… yet it felt like years had gone by in these past weeks or were it months?

Deep down he knew tsubasa was right. They were mere cowards and scared and no one was brave enough to say it out loud… tsubasa showed them a mirror with the reflection of how they turned out in the end and he hated it. he hated how he had become…

With mikan he could pretend like nothing was wrong… the teasing, annoying the hell out of each other. It felt right, although he would never admit it in her face. He didn't love her, at least not yet. You can't love someone so fast right? Maybe it was more a concerned feeling for her. Hoping she was alright where ever she was. He liked being with her and yet wanted her to take her distance.

For now he just had to find her… why? He had no idea.

"I am so glad mikan you came to visit me! I was afraid I had scared you that day" said anna with guilt written all over her pretty face. She pitied mikan so much and yet she never told her that. She knew mikan was strong but lately she had this feeling that mikan was changing and it didn't suit her.

"yeah… I was scared to face the truth, but today after everything that happened around me I understood that nothing goes as you want and you have to accept that not everyone and everything is perfect" mikan looked at anna with sadness overwhelming her.

Anna moved closer to mikan as she put her glass of wine away. "mikan-chan… are you okay?" mikan nodded slowly as tears brimmed in her eyes.

"anna… am I a bad person?" asked mikan as her vision blurred. Anna put her arm around mikan as she comforted her.

"no mikan, you're the sweetest and nicest girl I know" anna smiled at mikan as she gave a weak smile, the tears rolled over her cheeks.

"then why does it feel like everything I do upsets others?" mikan quickly wiped the tears away and sniffed a little. Anna gave her a warm smile.

"mikan you have to understand that you can't satisfy everyone around you" mikan nodded in understanding.

"now read this file. I brought it with me, it is about your mom" anna handed mikan a file as she began reading it. her eyes stopped at a certain line.

"she was drugged? Why wasn't this in her medical report?" mikan looked at anna, who looked around and then whispered to her. "it looks like someone wants to keep it a secret".

**be careful walls have ears… or were it eyes?**

"_okay so you know my favorite color. What is yours?" asked ruka as he drew patterns on her arm with his fingers. She snuggled closely to his chest, her arm around him._

"_purple of course, I like violet too" ruka chuckled at his lovely girlfriend._

"_okay now it's my turn. Uhm… you favorite pet" said hotaru as she giggled. Ruka thought for a while._

"_I think it would be a bunny" hotaru's laughter echoed throughout the room. _

"_seriously a bunny? I thought you would say a tiger or something like that" ruka smirked. He whispered in her ear._

"_I can show you a tiger" ruka tackled hotaru as she yelped. She laughed as he tickled her._

**Why do we keep dreaming if reality is nothing like a dream?**

Ruka slowly opened his eyes and saw yuu sleeping across him with his head low. The others were not in sight. He shook his head, he wanted to keep dreaming about hotaru and how she was fine in his head.

**Maybe because dreams can make us feel happy even if it is just for a second**

It was so terrible how everything went wrong. He sighed as he looked towards the hall and saw akira, mochu and koko nearing. Koko tossed him a sandwich as he gave a nod.

"so where have you been?" asked ruka as yuu stirred in his sleep and slowly opened his eyes. Akira grinned at him and gave him a sandwich.

"we were out thinking… and we have a little question for both of you" said mucho seriously as ruka sat up curiously and yuu looked at them with fear.

"what question?" akira sighed and looked at him.

"about the incident" yuu stopped eating and looked at them as he gulped. _This is not good_.

"look, it seems that the three of us can't seem to remember exactly what happened that day. We wondered if you have the same problem" ruka narrowed his eyes as yuu sweated.

"I do have the same problem but I thought it is because some memories are to traumatic to bring up again. However I didn't expect you guys to have the same" they looked at yuu.

"you too?" yuu shook his head. "no, it is ridiculous what you guys are saying, how can you forget what happened that day. I think ruka is right about that when you experience something traumatic you mind puts those memories away. Lately there have been a lot of bad things happening so I can understand that everyone forgets the same things" said yuu quickly as they looked at him.

"that was one hell of a speech" muttered koko as mochu smacked his head. Akira looked at yuu.

"so you didn't forget anything? Anything at all?" akira narrowed his eyes. Was yuu even telling the truth?

"it remember the incident. The small details don't matter to me. I wish I could forget everything that has happened" said yuu as he adjusted his glasses. Koko put a hand on his shoulder.

"I guess you right…" yuu gave him a smile. " I am going to the restroom" the others nodded as he left.

"so, do we believe what he said?" said akira as he sat on the chair.

"we have to, he is our friend… however he looked so jumpy, like he wanted us to talk about something else" said koko as the others agree. Koko looked at ruka.

"what are you thinking bro" ruka looked up as he had a hard look on his face.

"what if… what if what yuu just told us wasn't true. What if… he is hiding something from us" said ruka as he looked at them. mochu shook his head.

"no that's not possible" ruka rolled his eyes. "that's not possible? As I recall tsubasa told mikan everything and natsume just went after her. Everything is possible now" mochu, akira and koko looked shocked.

"tsubusa did what?" ruka sighed and shook his head.

"forget about that for a second. we have to ask tsubasa and natsume if they had the same problem, if they do then yuu is lying to us".

**If your keeping pieces of the puzzle away from your friends can you still be considered a friend or did you just turn into the enemy unknowingly?**

"hayate here. Oh aoi? Yeah wait younchi wants to talk to you" hayate tossed younchi his phone as he grabbed it with his amazing reflex.

"sometimes you really remind me of a dog" said hayate as younchi rolled his eyes. "yeah aoi. You what? Stay there I am coming" hayate looked at him curiously as younchi gave him his phone back.

"she is at my house, thankfully no one is home so she is coming this way" said younchi as he grabbed his jacket and walked out. Hayate shook his head. "be glad rui doesn't know" muttered hayate as rui came in.

"what do I have to know?" hayate gulped. "n-nothing special, just that mikan is still at the hospital with natsume and the others" rui's aura darkened. He gave hayate a last look as he went out.

Hayate breathed from relief. "what have we gotten ourselves into?".

**Guilt always reaches us after regretful things that have been done**

Rui grabbed his motor as he rode off towards his house. As he came he saw a very familiar car parked outside the gates.

He smirked as he entered his mansion and walked directly towards his room. As he came in he closed the door behind him. " I was wondering when you came" said a sugary sweet voice as rui smirked.

"what are you doing here?" asked rui as he neared her. She lay in a sexy pose on his bed. Her mini dress exposing almost everything as her blond curls were pinned in a knot exposing her neck and almost everything else.

She licked her lips with lust as she looked at rui. "didn't you miss me, love?" rui took place besides her on the bed as she sat up supporting her pose with arms stretched out behind her. She pushed her chest out a little showing him a lot of cleavage.

"always looking sexy, luna" luna gave him a sexy smile as she laughed a little. "just for you, you know".

"so have you any news?" luna pouted a little. "and I thought we could do something else than talk" said luna seductively as she sat on her knees (still on the bed) and came towards him, she nestled herself between his legs and her arms around his neck.

"we can have a little fun you know" rui ran his hand through his hair as he smirked. "very tempting" whispered rui as he removed her arms.

"you love her so much?" asked luna with hurt written all over her face. Rui smirked.

"I did not like her in the beginning but now.. now I can't live without her" luna rolled her eyes.

"how romantic, to bad she doesn't feel the same way" rui's eyes darkened as he pushed her on her back, caging her. Luna just merely smirked at this.

"what do you know" luna smiled as she sat a little up as her lips were almost touching his. "I know that natsume has become really fond of her and the same goes for her" rui sat up as he slid his feats on the ground as the anger didn't leave his eyes.

"I can help you" said luna as she placed her arms around his neck and kissed his neck. "how?".

"I can make him fall in love with me" said luna as she smirked rui faced her.

"what do you want in return" said rui, he knew her to well. This was luna he was talking about, queen bitch and the most seducing girl around here. Luna smiled as she put her arms around him again.

"you" rui smirked as he pushed her back on the bed and instead of walking away he gave in. luna wrapped her legs around his waist as she kissed him with lust rui started to unbutton his blouse as his hands went under her mini dress and pushed it all the way up.

**For every wish there is a price**

Mikan walked down the streets. She felt out of this world, it was like her soul left her body the moment she read that file.

Her mom had suffered so much and she didn't knew anything about her. Mikan stopped in her tracks as realization hit her.

_The people who killed my mom… what if they are after me too? _Mikan scanned the crowd around her for suspicion and all of the sudden it felt like she maybe had people following her without her knowing.

Fear was overwhelming her as she quickly looked around her. She saw people looking at her with different expressions but one guy looked at her with no expression at all. She kept staring at him till he stared moving. She turned back her head and quickened her pace. As she looked behind her every now and then and knew he was talking to someone through a earphone and then it hit her like a brick.

Maybe this wasn't the first time, maybe they had been following her from the day her mom died.

**As reality becomes a bitch everything around you becomes more clearer**

rui unbottoned his blouse as he pulled his pants up. luna fixed her dress as she winked at him. "so you got what you want... now i want you to take natusme out of my way" luna smirked as she walked to his door. "don't worry that will be taken care of" rui looked at her with a satisfied smirk.

"wait, the old man called you like a thousand times, where were you?" luna turned around and smiled. "i was a the cementery, visiting a dear friend"

**lies, lies, lies**

Natsume hissed in annoyance as he looked for that idiotic girl everywhere, he stopped at a bus station and sighed. He looked around and then his eyes fell on a certain brunette who was looking like death was following her. Natsume put the keys back in his motor and went after her.

He drove as fast as he could and stopped in front of her like he was in The fast and the furious; Tokyo drift movie. Mikan breathed in relief.

"what's wrong" said natsume as he took off his helmet. Mikan looked behind her with panic. "someone is following me" natsume narrowed his eyes and gave her his helmet.

"well, what are you looking at. Put it on idiot" natsume rolled his eyes as mikan glared at him and was embarrassed at the same time. she quickly put on the helmet and settled herself behind his motor.

"hold on tight" said natsume as he smirked, mikan looked at him clueless as he sped away making mikan hold him tight around his waist.

"I am sorry sir… they got away, I think she is on to us" whispered a the guy in his ear phone.

**Roses are red**

**Violets are blue**

**Poison turns sweet**

**When you have death following you**

**

* * *

**

! back with a new confusing chapter! okay so to make it clear luna and rui did ITxD for al the little kids out there i don't think wrinting the whole scene was nessecary. yuu is getting in to trouble as you can see and maybe aoi is even founding out a little bit of the truth herself.

mikan is becomeing more messed up and confused than first... will her prince charming (natsume) help her? or has he his own troubles... like finding out what really did happen that night...

what exactly happened with tono? and what does luna know about it?


	14. Chapter 14

i am soo sorryy for updating so late, but i passeddd! and i have vacation now!1

* * *

_I was told to stay away from you but you found me..._

_There was no way I could ignore you..._

_You presence captivated me, your actions amazed me, your looks scared me..._

_You were to much of a mystery to stay away from..._

_**but**_

_I should have stayed away from you..._

_You broke me into million pieces..._

**I hate that I love you**

**Chapter 14: new enemies**

"you can let me go, you know" mikan stood up half-trembling and supported on natsume. "I am never gonna ask your help again" natsume rolled his eyes.

"mikan, what were you saying about being followed?" he parked his motor as they both entered their beloved school. Were it all started.

"remind me why we are here again?" muttered mikan as she missed being outside already. "because narumi asked everyone to return and I have a feeling that we are being followed even inside" muttered natsume softly as mikan stopped in her tracks.

"are we all being followed?" asked mikan as natsume looked around and walked away saying nothing what just answered her question. but her other question was; why were they following them, when it was her mother that was killed…

**Some connections make you wish you never wanted to know the truth**

All of them walked out of the hospital, they were allowed to visit tomorrow again. Yuu walked in front of them while the others kept thinking how they were going to find out the real truth.

Yuu was their friend but now… it felt like he was more of a enemy. Did he know all the truth? Or was supporting the enemies without knowing the truth himself?

"so, why don't we all forget this and move on with our lives… I mean tsubasa was right, we are too much stuck in the past" ruka talked as he studies yuu's body language. His shoulder relaxed and so did his arms. Ruka shook his head in disappointment.

Akira looked at ruka as ruka gave him a nod. "we will have to go to the bottom of this even if it means that we will lose someone in progress" he muttered softly as he looked at yuu.

**Finding out the truth is important but losing someone in progress is tragedy**

"stupid shoes" aoi muttered darkly as she walked away from younchi's door. No one was at home and thankfully he was on his way. She loved younchi's house from outside, it was so big and so beautiful.

A car rode past her but then stopped and rode back. Aoi stopped walking as the car stopped next to her and the window was rolled down. "can I help you, young lady?" the man looked very mature, he had black hair with white stripes but it made him look handsome. But one thing made her gawk at him.

His eyes… were the same color she has. "your eyes" she whispered as the man smiled at her. "why yes, they are the pride of the hyuuga family" aoi looked strangely at him, if they were the pride of the hyuuga family.. then why did she have it too?

"but…" aoi took of one lens and opened her eyes making the man stare at her with horror. "it's not possible… aoiyaka?"

**Twinkle, Twinkle little star, how I wondered where you are**

"anna! Where are you!" nonoko screamed through the house, as she dropped her Gucci bag and slid off her Gucci heels. "anna sweetheart!" nonoko walked through their penthouse, but no one was there. She shrugged it off and walked to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water.

"nonoko are you there?" she heard a faint voice as the door opened. Nonoko walked to the door and saw anna exhausted on the couch.

"where were you?" nonoko asked as anna smiled weakly at her. "nonoko-chan…mikan's mom.." she felt tears in her eyes as nonoko sat down next to her and grabbed her hand gently.

"what happened with her mom" she whispered softly as anna closed her eyes. "she was murdered" nonoko closed her eyes and let the tears fall.

"I know" anna opened her eyes and looked at her friend. "…what?"

**Ouch… it hurts more than you imagine when someone keeps the truth from you and it just has to be someone you trust.. double ouch**

Sumire walked around and slid her hand through her perms. "where are they" she hissed as she walked around the campus with her arms crossed. Then all of the sudden her phone vibrated, she quickly looked at the incoming message and sighed.

"finally" she muttered, she straightened her skirt and fixed her hair with her hands. She strutted in her high heels towards the one person she had to see right now. She walked through the dorms earning all kinds of whistles and remarks. She smiled or just looked bitchy at them because hey she was queen bee.

She stood in front of a door and threw it open without knocking because she knew he was expecting her. "where the hell were you" she didn't even feel the need to ask those boring questions with hey how are you?

"they know something" yuu put of his glasses and looked at her seeing the color drain of her face. "…how?"

"we have to stop this, they need to know the truth" sumire smiled sadly. "yuu, we can't tell them… he will make sure to ruin our memories and make sure that we remember nothing" yuu nodded and groaned angrily.

"but we have to help them, they will blame us for not telling anything" sumire nodded and felt tears well up but when the door opened her heart stopped.

"I think it's time you two tell exactly what's going on" ruka said seriously as koko looked at sumire with pain in his eyes but in vanished.

**Looks like friends are turned against each other**

"were the hell is she?" younchi stomped on the ground irritated as he walked to his door, he hoped some maid let her in and his dad wasn't home. "aoi?" he walked towards the living room, it was on the other side of his house… talk about big.

Aoi was sitting on the sofa with her back turned against him. "there you are" he said as he walked up to her, but when she turned around. He stopped in his tracks.

"aoi? What's wrong?" he looked up and saw his dad looking at him with the same tear streaked face as aoi.

"younchi, I have something to tell you" she whispered as she threw her arms around his neck. He hugged her closely as he looked at his dad and he knew things would change around here.

**So much surprises, maybe too much to handle?**

Mikan woke up by the rain clattering on the window. Yesterdays memories were still fresh: natsume knew something, or his friends knew something… hotaru was still not alright, she hadn't heard of anna since… it was all getting to much.

Right after she got back with natsume she went to her room and fell asleep the same moment.

Mikan walked to her bathroom and got freshened up, her hair was pulled in a quick messy bun as for her clothes she quickly grabbed a pair of army shorts and a sweater that hung loosely off her shoulder.

She put on her nikies and grabbed her bag. Walking towards class was dreadful. She felt every eye on her, because all the things happening here or around people were her fault.

The whispers, the stares… nothing stopped. Mikan slammed the door open and walked in, ignoring the stares everyone gave her. For once permy was quiet, which was very unlike her. Hotaru wasn't there and unfortunately the rest of the gang was there. Mikan climbed over the table, not even asking natsume to move over… like he would.

She sat between them, put her bag in front of her and looked outside. She knew non of them would bother her today, because somehow everything changed. They ignored her and she ignored them.

Narumi walked in and greeted them, he looked around and felt sadness overwhelm him.. it was not supposed to end like this. He sighed and smiled once again towards his students.

"sweet students! We have someone new joining us today! Please welcome her" a girl walked in with class. She wore black shorts and a green tube top. Her heels clicked on the ground making everyone aware of her presence.

Her hair was in a sexy bun as her neckline was exposed giving everyone a fine view of her. "hey, my name is luna koizumi… nice meeting you" she looked directly at natsume and smiled at him. "I hope we all can be_** friends**_".

**When you think it there is a chance of reaching out to someone, you just got proven wrong. What will you do?**

* * *

**luna in the picture people! looks like nonoko knows something.. and what did yuu and sumire tell koko and ruka? they were just acting normal in class? or did something happen? and were is tonon? looks like no one is missing him, or did the person who kidnapped him made it look like something else?**


	15. Chapter 15

backkkkkkkkkkk

* * *

_I was told to stay away from you but you found me..._

_There was no way I could ignore you..._

_You presence captivated me, your actions amazed me, your looks scared me..._

_You were to much of a mystery to stay away from..._

_**but**_

_I should have stayed away from you..._

_You broke me into million pieces..._

* * *

**I hate that I love you**

**Chapter 15: changes**

Mikan sat on the roof on her own. She couldn't seem to forget the events in class. That girl luna…who was she? And why did it seem that she was directing every answer to natsume? Not that I should care.

but…there is something wrong with her, something big.

"my, my…lonely little kitten" a mocking voice said as mikan turned around to see a smirking luna leaning against the wall.

"what do you want" she didn't felt the need to be nice. That girl had a super negative aura. She disliked her from the beginning.

"keep that tone to yourself, sakura…because I can assure you that your time won't be pleasure anymore" mikan narrowed her eyes at the tone luna was using.

Was she threatening her?

"what can you possibly do?" luna smirked as she neared her, she pushed mikan against the railing and grabbed her chin roughly.

"I will steal everything important to you away" luna looked at disgust at her. Why did rui want mikan so badly?

"same disgusting eyes as your mother" mikan widened her eyes at her statement. What the hell did she knew about her mother?

"you know my mom?" luna let a slightly disturbing laughter, it sounded like the evil queen from snow white was laughing.

"if I knew her? I knew everything… including things about her death" mikan felt her legs tremble. Her answers were so near, she just hoped luna would talk.

"tell me, please" she never begged anyone… but she had to with luna. It was not like she would give the answers because they were friends… they were far from friends, she could feel it. This luna girl hates her… but feeling is definitely mutual.

"if you stay away from natsume and his friends I will… but don't blame me if what you will get to know will bring you further apart from them" with that she left mikan alone with her thoughts. She rubbed her chin lightly. "damn, the girl has nails, I won't be surprised if I end up with a scar" all she had to do was avoid natsume and his friends… his friends she could ignore easily but him?

She had to try.

**Everything comes with a price**

"aoi, you've got to be kidding me? DAD! Tell her that she's wrong!" younchi looked with pleading eyes towards his dad. The one man he thought he could trust.

"younchi, there some things you should know…" younchi felt his heartbeat going faster with every second.

"you're adopted"

**Nothing is worse than being lied to your whole life**

"hey tsubasa, what's wrong?" misaki took a seat next to her childhood friend tsubasa. He was called back to school by narumi but he instead went to the one person he could always trust… misaki hirada.

"everything…everything is wrong!" tsubasa pulled his hair frustrated as he slumped down on the grass with misaki next to him. She is really special to him. Her blue eyes would always look concerned for him. Her smiles would make sure he never felt down.

She was his most special friend.

"I heard about hotaru" she softly said as her hands caressed his upper arm in a comforting way. Tsubasa turned to her a gave a sad smile.

"I hope she wakes up" his came barely out a whimper. He didn't know what else to say. "I'll be always here for you, tsubasa"

**No one can hear the cries deep in your heart**

"what did you wanted to talk about, kitsu?" koko said annoyed. They stood in the school backyards. Kitsu lit his cigarette and faced koko.

"sumire told me that you and ruka went to her and yuu yesterday" koko felt even more annoyed. "you still talk to her?"

Kitsu sighed and turned to his once childhood friend. "leave it in the past koko… from everything that happened you can only remember that?" koko groaned frustrated as he gave kitsu his scariest glare. "maybe you forgot that I loved her a lot"

"I will say the same thing I said back then… you still have it wrong" koko fought the urge to roll his eyes. "seeing my girl and my best friend together in MY room"

"it's your own fault for not believing us and pretending she doesn't exist" kitsu tried not to punch his once greatest friend..why wouldn't he believe him? Sumire really loved koko. Sure she didn't show it and pretended to like natsume. Both of them are too stubborn.

"whatever… what did she tell you?" koko didn't want to hear another word about their past. "yuu told you about him didn't he"

"how did you know? I'm guessing they told you everything before they told me and ruka" how could they? Yuu and sumire should've told them everything! Not to their enemies!

"just don't tell mikan and natsume… some things should stay secret as long as they can"

**Nothing is worse than your own friends keeping things from you…**

"Where is tono?" asked akira , he hadn't seen tono since they left the hospital. Maybe he went back there. "call him" said ruka annoyed as he was typing away on the laptop. They were currently in ruka's room. The classes already ended. Natsume went to god knows were… maybe after mikan.

Koko said he would be back in a hour, tsubasa didn't came back to school at all and tono? Well he is we don't know were.

"were is yuu?" ruka stopped typing as he recalled the events of yesterday. He would never expect yuu to keep this information away from them.

And sumire too…

"we were right about yuu… we can't trust him anymore" ruka found his own voice sounding hard. "and apparently sumire too"

Akira and mochu looked at him with disbelief written all over their faces. "how do you know?" ruka closed his laptop and sighed.

"we kind of caught them… but keep this under us, natsume and mikan don't need to know" akira arched his eyebrow.

"why mikan and natsume?" ruka sighed and turned to the window. "because if they do everything will go from bad to worse"

**Right now it will be even more difficult to trust anyone…**

"yo natsume! Where were you men!" tono grinned at his friend as they walked towards the cafeteria to get something to eat.

Natsume shrugged his shoulder and gave him one glance. "where were you?" tono shrugged his shoulders.

"sleeping I guess" he just woke up in his bed. Natsume rolled his eyes and grabbed food until his eyes landed on a strawberry cream muffin.

"you know, I will be right back" natsume grabbed the muffin and left, leaving the confused tono behind.

**Pretending to not care is the same as caring…**

"How am I going to ignore them?" mikan walked in the halls feeling awfully frustrated. Maybe if she hung out with other people things will change?

How is she going to make friends in the middle of her school year with complete strangers? I hate my life.

"the scowl in your face makes you even more uglier" mikan turned around and came face to face with the notorious natsume hyuuga… and his smirk.

"what do you want…hyuuga?" she actually gulped when saying his last name, it sounded so cold. She could see him glare a little at her.

"who did that to you?" his cold voice made me shiver a little. He probably saw the marks luna's nail left. Damn that bitch.

"like you care" why was it so hard to be cold to him? She wanted to tell him it was that bitch luna and that luna told her to stay away from him.

But she couldn't, her mom was everything for her!

She walked away but suddenly natsume grabbed roughly her arm and pulled her in his arms. His hot breath tickled her face but his angry eyes made her gulp visibly.

"what the hell is wrong with you" mikan glared at him. "leave me alone, didn't I tell you in the hospital" mikan recalled the event. Although they made up, she had to keep him away.

"I don't want you anywhere near me again, got it?" mikan gave him a bitchy look and ripped away from his arms. Natsume was hissing in anger… oh shit.

"fuck you" he walked away angry but not before throwing the muffin to the wall. Mikan walked to the muffin and picked it up. He brought it specially for her, he can be really sweet unknowingly. she watched him leave with saddened eyes, it was for the better and maybe if luna told her everything she could restore the 'feud' she's having with natsume.

**Will everything still be the same after the real truth? Do friends still exist then?**

"why don't we call her? I mean we are standing in front of her school you know" nonoko said but anna just tried to ignore her.

"anna, are you seriously still mad at me?" anna turned towards her with anger blazing in her eyes. "mad? Honey, I am FURIOUS! How can you keep the truth away from her!" she ignored nonoko's pleading and walked towards the gates and when she was about to press the intercom the doors opened and a guy walked out.

He looked quite surprised to see her, he had messy blond yet slightly brown hair and green eyes. His eyes bulged out and he stopped in front of her.

"anna?" anna looked confused at him and back at nonoko who turned quite white. "excuse me? Do I know you?" the guy sighed and walked past her. "you did"

**Forgetting things is the worst that can happen to you**

Mikan walked to her room in sadness. She felt awfully bad for hurting natsume's feeling… or his pride. He must be hating her so much right now.

Shouldn't she feel a little happy? I mean natsume did lie, right? He pretended to befriend her. Heck, he used her! What is wrong with that guy.

Okay, guilt is replaced by hate.

Mikan's phone rang and she answered. "mikan speaking" the other line was a little quiet but anna's voice started talking. "mikan, it's me anna… can you come to the cafeteria?" anna ended the call and mikan looked weirdly at her, was she seriously here?

Mikan turned on her heels and walked to the cafeteria. Anna and surprisingly nonoko sat with her. Both of them looked stylish with their matching outfit and make-up.

"oh my gosh! Nonoko, anna!" she walked up to them, anna and nonoko both hugged her. Everyone around them were like 'the idiols are here'.

"let's go to your room, they keep asking for autographs" anna rolled her eyes and mikan grinned. She pulled both of them with her. However nonoko stopped in her tracks and her eyes widened.

"yuu?"

**Oh my, the world is smaller than you think…**

* * *

**rate and review!**


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